h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's usually one for sorrow, two for joy, and if you see more than two together, they're probably rooks!

If we see more than two crows at a time, they're probably giving the bluejays heck.

http://www.britishbirdlovers.co.uk/articles/one-for-sorrow-magpie-nursery-rhyme
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crow 1 - You sh.. on the window first
crow 2 - no I didn't you did
crow 1 - No! It was you
crow 2 - No chance, I was downwind, it was you
crow 1 - either way! lets bugger off before he gets the 12 bore out, look what happened to uncle Albert

If the crows are flying across your path, you will have good luck. If they're just sitting somewhere, they're probably plotting to confuse you by flying in a circuitous path. "As the crow flies" means nothing if you follow the wrong crow!

err!

Hey! Fledgling, crow up and don't cheek your elders!

Rook you! Who do you think your talking to ?

Ha! Your the one doing all the raven young'un

Watch out for those cabs when you fly!

Uncle Albert once told me that the collision of a crow and a cab led to the evolution of the cow and the crab...

Now that butterflies are out in force, I sometimes worry that I will hit one when I'm driving.

I don't know about butterflies, but a swan that intersected with my path while I was in the car (on the highway) did not actually hit the car due to the air displacement, but got launched over the roof and apparently steadied itself after doing some corkscrew/looping maneuver. So there is hope. I suppose this only works at high speed (more air displacement)

Scared the hell out of me though...

A Canada Goose hit my car's windshiledo ne day when I was driving along. The windshield cracked, but the goose did not penetrate. I got it replaced later that day.

Farmer Hoggett lost the side-view mirror on his truck to a wild turkey flyby...

Those turkeys can be quite a challenge.

Did you ever hear the story about air force people who were told to drop chickens for planes to test whether they got sucked into aircraft engines? Well, one of the testers didn't realize that live chickens were assumed. He used frozen chickens, and, yes, there was some significant damage.

I can vividly imagine this, but I'm with the tester. Dropping live chickens would have been inhumane.

Shouldn't that be inchickane?

Frozen chicken is used to test aircraft cockpit windows,shot from a cannon.

I think the point was to simulate the impact of flying ducks or geese or pigeons. Chickens were easier to procure. behold the military mind at work.

What's the last thing that goes through a midge's mind, as it splats on your car window-screen ?

it's a---r---s----e


(stands by for yiksing or clout round ear )

I won't tell if you won't.

Crows are fascinating. Their social behavior is well-organized. They seem pretty intelligent. But if a crow has been drinking, all bets are off as far as flying "as the crow flies." No straight paths at all.