The Suzie Q Ferguson Awards for Terrible Tour-Guiding, First Runner-Up

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The Suzie Q Ferguson Awards for Terrible Tour-Guiding, First Runner-Up

Post Editor's Statement: Suzie Q was an American student Elektra and I knew back in the day, who loved to give guided tours of places she knew absolutely nothing about. In addition to spreading misinformation about antiquities with great verve, Suzie liked to chat with the 'natives'. She believed that a smile would open any door, and that no request was too extravagant to make in pursuit of the title of Most Unusual Freespirited Foreigner. Several of us endured an awkward breakfast in a local German pub where Suzie attempted to get the wait staff to boil the eggs she had just bought in an outdoor market. When she hopped on the back of the banquette to change into the new socks she had also bought, and asked the waiter (Italian, I believe) for a pair of scissors to remove the elastic, we slipped out quietly...

The h2g2 Core Team held an impromptu competition recently, to see if Europeans could match this form of American insouciance. Elsewhere in this issue, we bring you Milla's winning entry. Not to be outdone, Superfrenchie submitted this runner-up contribution. (The judges took away points for actually telling us something interesting.) Want to be a Suzie Q Ferguson Award winner? Just send us an unusual photo from your travels with a particularly clueless caption.

When is a Medieval Door Particularly Amazing?

Door in Perigeux, France
Superfrenchie explains this door from PĂ©rigueux:
  • See those nails in the door? It's protection against elephants.
  • But... There aren't elephants around here!
  • Exactly!

Although, the real explanation is pretty good too: it's so if someone tries to break in and attacks the door with an axe, it rebounds.
Post Quiz and Oddities Archive


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