March of the Zombies: Reality BiteZ, Part III

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March of the Zombies: Reality BiteZ, Part III

City of AngelZ

Steve Swann almost, very nearly but not quite, made it to the docks.

Five hundred yards.

That close.

"Whoa, dudes! Give me a sec!" He switched off the Segway and rummaged in his backpack for the small Sony hand-held. "Just thought of a great promo link, dudes!"

Henry and Carly reluctantly agreed to Segway back towards the advancing hordes.

Within ten yards now, they could smell the decay, whirling about, getting the four-three-two count from their director before accelerating towards camera, zombies within feet, as they buzzed past Steve and carried on towards the dock, salvation and global megastardom.

If Steve hadn't stopped to check the playback was as cool as he imagined, he would've made it.

If Steve hadn't stopped some more to roll a celebratory joint, he would've made it.

More importantly if Steve hadn't dropped his Zippo and run back for get the picture.

Steve didn't make it, but went to his death as he had lived his life – mostly stoned and dreaming of an Oscar.

Henry felt something heavy and wet thud into his backpack, but didn't slow down to check.

Carly was alongside him, looking like she was about to hurl, pointing madly at his back with the hand that wasn't keeping the Segway at 6mph.

The docks loomed. There in the bay, between the Catalina Jet Express and the Moonstone glass-bottomed boat (both full to brimming with zombified tourists), was the film company's Robinson R66 helicopter, bobbing lazily on its float, pilot waving in a thankfully un-zombielike fashion.

"We've only bleedin' made it, Donna, me old mucker!" Henry grinned as the Segway totally failed to skid dramatically to a halt at the heavy chain link gates that blocked the entrance.

"It's Carly! You freaking....." She stopped, what was the point? "What is the point to anything now? Poor Steve!"

Henry was too busy manfully failing to shift the electrically locked gates to notice her pain. " Giz a hand, eh, Donna?" He tried hitting the lock with the rolled-up newspaper several times. No such luck. The zombie horde were now within fifty feet.

Henry stared at the big red emergency release button, sadly thirty yards away on the other side of the gate. So close.

The zombies shuffled ever closer.

"Arghhhh!" Henry was frustrated, not with his imminent demise, but with the realisation that he'd never get to show his latest blockbuster to his mates back home in England.

Another career ended too soon, red-carded by bleedin' walking corpses!

Carly was sobbing too, she'd reached up to Henry's backpack and disentangled Steve's head. The blood-soaked ponytail stubbornly wrapped around the straps.

As the head chomped at her face, Carly cried, "Oh Steve, what a horrible penalty to pay for your art!"

Henry snapped out of his mood instantly.

"What was that, Donna?"

"Carleeeeee! And I said poor Steve died for his art, you....."

"Penalty! You are a bleedin' genius, my girl!" He slapped her, rather chauvinistically on the bottom, grabbed Steve's head by the ponytail and placed it on the ground in front of the gates.

Taking several steps back, Henry mumbled to himself.

"England one – Germany one, final of the World Cup hinges on the last-minute penalty. Wait! Up steps the young third division defender. Yes, Letterbox has taken up the challenge! The weight and hopes of a nation are resting on this young lad's bleedin' handsome head!"

A quick jiggle to put the imaginary German goalie off, and Henry took his run up and kicked ..Steve's head sailed majestically into the air, ponytail twirling in a bloody trajectory. Up and over the fence, then reaching its apex, spinning downwards.

"Wembley holds its breath, he shoots...." The head hit the button with a sickening wet crunch, the gates swung open, "Letterbox scores!"

The horde was nose-wrinklingly close now, Henry turned, arms aloft in triumph.

"There's zombies on the pitch, they think it's all over...."

"It is now!" Shouted Carly as she dragged him through the gates, hitting the sticky red button as they ran towards the chopper.

To be continued.

Reality BiteZ promo showing a zombie on a Segway
Henry Letterbox FTW!
Click the link for the trailer to the sequel! Or
Watch the embedded video!

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