h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Another quiet day. I got home to discover that our 40-year-old boiler is on the blink again, or to be more accurate, on the drip. Fortunately out the overflow pipe. So that was time spent up the ladder in the closet to bodge it together for a few more months.

In other news, over the last 30 years almost 2/3rds of the UK's bank branches have closed:
http://www.which.co.uk/news/2018/11/can-the-post-office-really-plug-the-gap-as-bank-branches-are-shut-down/?utm_source=whichcouk&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=atmsaccesstobanks161118
Sadly that has to be true. My home town of Sandown used to have 2 post offices, a NatWest, Midlands, Barclays, Lloyds and Halifax. Now they've all gone. Ten years ago Southampton High Street used to have the Bank of Scotland (where I worked), Co-Op Bank next door, Royal Bank of Scotland 7 doors up and then a few more doors up there was HSBC, Portman Building Society and Abbey National. Across the road was Lloyds TSB, NatWest, the Post Office and with Bradford and Bingley round the corner. Now TSB is the only bank along Southampton's High Street. All the banks that were along London Road – Northern Rock, other branches of NatWest and HSBC – they have all gone.

Meanwhile at work the VC is panicking. 'The Times' published an article that said that student numbers at Solent have dropped by 24% in the last few years (numbers have gone down a significant figure, that's true, but that's a misleading figure) and the Financial Times has published an entry saying that three UK universities were in financial difficulty, two of which being 'on the south coast'. So there's been a lot of speculation that Solent's the Uni in financial trouble.

Strangely enough, it isn't. The one thing the VC is any good at is making money; he only gets his bonus if Solent is profitable and exceeds a 5% surplus target each year. For the last 5 years his masterplan has been to make the university smaller in order to make more money by getting rid of a lot of staff and other drains on resources. There were several courses that were very prestigious but not particularly profitable, they didn't make money but helped the uni's reputation. He got rid of them and so the uni now concentrates on the profitable 'product streams' (which is what he calls 'courses', he calls students 'consumers' too).
And though we have far fewer undergraduate students, due in part to a natural demographic dip (See: http://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/populationandmigration/populationprojections/articles/being18in2018/2018-09-13) and also fewer EU students due to Brexit concerns, the uni has been recruiting students on Apprenticeship courses (and making a right pig's ear of it). We've already had OFSTED inspectors in, asking questions like, 'How does your Adult Nursing apprenticeship course reflect British values such as democracy and freedom of speech?' I'm not sure how democratic giving someone an injection is, but as for British values, I don't think there's anything the British value more than the NHS.

At least the uni up the road is getting some negative publicity at the moment too, when the Students' Union proposed to whitewash their war mural memorial:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-46274283

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Well done for fixing the boiler - I hope you have a carbon monoxide detector.

Very interesting about universities indeed... I was just reading about Ofsted inspections, as it happens - fascinating questions they ask... That mention of the "three universities" did cause a massive amount of speculation - I saw that in the news, plus various denials as well...

With the boiler, as we're a first floor maisonette (what would be called a 2nd floor apartment in the US) and don't have gas, everything is electric.

I think the inspection came as a bit of a shock as universities don't normally come under Ofsted, as we deal with students we're now under OfS (Office for Students) that replaces HEFCE (Happy Elephant Feels Completely Exhausted), but as we're doing apprenticeships we now come under their remit. Fortunately it didn't really involve me too much.

Saying 'University on the south coast' narrows it down to the following:
Arts University Bournemouth
University of Bath
Bath Spa University
Bournemouth University
University of Brighton
University of Bristol
The University of Buckingham
Buckinghamshire New University
Canterbury Christ Church University
University of Chichester
Cirencester Royal Agricultural University
University for the Creative Arts
University College of Estate Management
University of Exeter
Falmouth University
University of Gloucestershire
The University of Kent
The University of Law
University of Oxford
Oxford Brookes University
University of Plymouth
Plymouth Marjon University
University of Portsmouth
University of Reading
University of Southampton
Solent University
University Centre Sparsholt
University of Surrey
University of Sussex
University of The West of England, Bristol
University Centre Weston
University of Winchester

The trouble is it may put applicants off applying for any of the above as no-one knows which it actually is… But our VC has had one aim over the last 5 years which has been to make money by any means necessary (even if it means selling the family silver or, in the uni's case, land). That's what he's earned his ridiculously large bonus for each year…

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On a peripheral topic, I have a question about that war mural, please.

Your reference inspired me to do some research with a view to a possible guide entry on an aspect of university war memorials, maybe.

My question is: Have you seen this mural? Can you tell me if there is a plaque or sign explaining what it is? Its provenance and intent?

I've not seen the Rothenstein Mural (painted by renowned Jewish artist Sir William Rothenstein, Principal of the Royal College of Art in 1916 and donated in 1959) as it is in Southampton's other uni (the prestigious one) in the Senate Room.

Southampton University have a plaque in the library that I have seen, though not for years. Presumably this was put up immediately after either the First or Second World War as they did not get the mural until 14 years after the Second World War ended. (They don't allow the taking of photographs in the library, though, see: A87905514. And they don't allow access past the barrier either unless you're there for a specific event.)

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Thanks. I just wanted to know whether the 'artist's statement' was on public display.

I found a detailed explanation of the mural here:

http://www.southampton.ac.uk/greatwar_unknownwar/news/2014/05/20_rothenstein_mural.page

That will do for what I need it for.

By the way, you can feel smug: the University of Southampton's different websites, including what I assume was a student rag, are insecure. My antivirus keeps blocking them with prejudice.

The first floor maisonettes near me have gas boilers, but that's good that you have an electric boiler so don't have to worry about carbon monoxide (I know someone who has been ill this week because of that - not good).

Yeah, Ofsted inspections are familiar in parts - I see on the website that you have Outstanding for Warsash - but apprenticeships are a new kettle of fish indeed...

"as for British values, I don't think there's anything the British value more than the NHS." - from what I learned today, it seems that's as good an answer as any!

Warsash are Outstanding No wonder the VC wants to get rid of Warsash so badly. You can't have anything Outstanding around here as it makes his mediocrity look bad…

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Yeah

We've still got our Ofsted inspection to look forward to but I have just about managed to do all the prep that was required in my department so that's a good start!

How involved do you get with Ofstedf?
We don't do much FE, predominantly HE, so it didn't affect us much. Although today I've been told that I'll move desk before Christmas in preparation for the post-Christmas restructure, when I'll have to move desk again…
I've had at least 16 different desks in 10 years.

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Hopefully I won't have too much involvement with Ofsted in due course, as I'm not directly involved with the FE side of things, but I had to make sure all my department's relevant information is ready in case it is needed...

"I've had at least 16 different desks in 10 years. "

Yikes The probability that a sits at your desk is quite high again, by the sounds of it...