h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This year my wife's birthday fell on the 15th of November, and after the usual presents and taking the children to school, we decided we'd once again attempt something that we've not managed for her birthday for the last 2 years; actually go to the cinema and see a film together. Two years ago the car broke down on her birthday. Last year we planned to go and see 'Murder on the Orient Express' only for our daughter to need to be taken to hospital instead. But this year we actually made it!

First off we went to the local shop to buy some affordable snacks to take in with us as they overcharge in the cinema itself. I bought a bag of that was on offer, which turned out to be 'Yorkie – Man-Size Chocolate Buttons'. Once again I was disappointed that the chocolate buttons themselves were not actually the size of an average man (5'9") (See earlier conversation). Also 'man-size buttons' makes no sense in this context. Most of the buttoning I do as a man are on my shirts for work (with some on trousers) and these buttons are quite small and discreet. Therefore you would expect a 'man-size chocolate button' to be quite small. Toddlers and pre-schoolers coat buttons, on the other hand, are gigantic in comparison, definitely much larger than the buttons on a man's shirt. So if I had a choice between buying 'Man-size buttons' or 'Toddler-size buttons' to eat, I know which I'd go for. They'd make things so much easier for all concerned if they simply named them 'Gurt Big Buttons', leaving age and gender out of it.

There wasn't much choice of films to see during the day, which was the only time available to us as we needed to collect the kids from school later. Surprisingly enough my wife didn't want to celebrate her birthday by watching 'Peterloo', a film about the peaceful protest turned massacre. I'd promised to take my son to see 'Bohemian Rhapsody' and my wife had already seen it. So we went to see Illumination's 'The Grinch' – it seems like only 18 years ago we went to see 'The Grinch' (2000) together…

So we went to the cinema and had the whole screen to ourselves. The trailers started after the nonsense one claiming 'this is not a cinema, this is a race track…'. It is a cinema, and it isn't a race track. I can prove it too - if I drove a car around inside the building, I'd get told off, but if I asked to see a film, they'd sell me tickets. Yes, it is nice to know that the cinema likes to promote itself as a venue showing live theatre, ballet, opera, sporting and music events, but it is still a cinema.
The best bit of the cinema is the anticipation when the trailers come up. First was an exciting trailer for this year's CBeebies Panto, 'Thumbelina', which is having a cinematic release. Then came a trailer for 'Mary Poppins Returns' that very wisely left the main question unanswered; has Dick van Dyke learnt how to speak English? The final trailer was for 'Wreck it Ralph 2: Ralph Wrecks the Internet' which looks like it could be as much fun as the first.
And after the trailers came the excitement of a bonus Minion short – 'Yellow is the New Black'. Which was well worth having to update all my 'Spin-off' sections in my Illumination entries for. And 'The Grinch' itself was another breath-taking masterpiece of stunning animation. If you know the story there's little that's new, but just like 'A Christmas Carol' it is a tale that, when well made, always makes me at the end.

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A belated happy birthday to your lady wife, who must be a saint...

The 'man-sized' candy made me laugh. Usually, over here, they just use words like 'jumbo', 'giant', and the like. Which of course leads to the term 'jumbo shrimp'...

Glad your wife was able to enjoy her birthday as planned this year

Sounds like a good choice to see The Grinch (2018) to compare it with The Grinch (2000) Glad you both enjoyed it and got extra Minion fun, too!

More insightful analysis on the 'Man Size' phenomenon, too - 5'9" chocolate would be a sight to behold! I'd vote for renaming them 'Gurt Big Buttons' indeed

I still live in hope of 5'9" …

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