Let Joy Be Unabated!
Bring on the Cats!
Molly the Editorial Assistant Kitty agreed to sit with Lola for their Christmas photo. We tried to get Buzzardina the black cat in the chair, but that turned out to be too much of a good thing. They all want to wish you a very Happy/Merry Christmas and all the best in the coming year, which they hope, as do we, will be filled with good things for you and yours.
Maja and Volya, the South African kitties, are also here to wish you a Merry Christmas. We're not sure, but we think one of them is singing. Probably 'Somerkersfees'. It's not winter everywhere, but we still have our global holidays. Give those kitties a treat.
And now, for a roll call of the delights in this Christmas issue:
FWR took this photo the other day. He said to me,
- Willem shares a gorgeous bird that's hard to spell: the Bokmakierie. It sounds like this, and if that's not better than Christmas bells, I don't know music. (Yeah, I know: you listened to that Heavy Leslie album, and you have your doubts.)
- Awix doesn't have a new film for you. As per Christmas Post tradition, he's reviewing a great classic from the past. The film this year is a science fiction epic from 1979 called The Black Hole.
This, of course, makes perfect sense, because it's h2g2.
- We have quizzes and a Caption Challenge. We also have the eagerly-awaited annual Christmas Crossword. Answers won't show up until next week, so stop clicking. Just solve the thing. Bluebottle has outdone himself this year. Oh, there's a cat in one of the quizzes. We thought you needed another cat.
- There are photos galore: from Merrie Olde England, and elegant France, the famed Isle of Wight, and…SashaQ's local supermarket? You'll want to view them all.
- I have been lectured to over the years about the amount of feel-good kitsch that shows up in the h2g2 Post around Christmas. 'Look here,' the argument goes, 'Half of our readers are British. British people are less sentimental than you Yanks or Europeans.'
'Okay,' I say. 'What says "Christmas" to the British?"
'Ghost and horror stories.'
I've finally watched enough BBC Christmas specials to get the point. The Post has fallen in line with tradition. And so, without further ado, we bring you the Man from Delaware Trilogy. In keeping with h2g2 tradition, this trilogy has four parts, which you will find below. All the writers and artists had a few basic ideas to work with: The Man from Delaware (the Rincewind of time travellers), cats, walnuts, and werewolves. Quiet in the back, it makes as much sense as anything else around here. Grab a mouthful of Christmas cookie, shut up, and enjoy, already. FWR, MVP, and I worked hard on this, and Cactuscafé cheered us on with critique and smileys.
- After that, the Post gets all serious. (Pause.) Just kidding. Bluebottle is back with the 'Clash of the Argonauts'. It's an epic battle.
- Bluebottle's not finished fighting. Not content with taking on Harry Harryhausen, he's decided to make a holiday call on an elderly chatbot. See if Christmas carols compute for ELIZA.
- SashaQ is pondering poetry. I'm mulling over humour. Nigel's dishing up pudding. A good time will be had, or we will know the reason why.
As opposed to:
infrequent diesel ones?
Once in a blue moon steam ones?
The joys of British rail travel!
That sign drove him nuts, so he decided to do something about it. He researched it. And then wrote a Guide Entry about it. It turns out there was a pretty interesting reason for that sign. Which only goes to show you. . . er, what does it go to show you? (Sorry, too much eggnog.) Ah, yes: it goes to show you that when faced with the inexplicable, a h2g2er will explicate it. And then tell everybody else. That's as it should be here at the galaxy's best Guide to Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Now, go read the Post, sing a carol or two, enjoy some Christmas pudding, and hug your loved ones for us. See you next week.