The h2g2 Post 18.07.16

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Posted: 18th July 2016

h2g2 Goes to the Movies

Heath Robinson's idea of how to make a war movie. He should talk to Spielberg. This week, friends and fellow Researchers, the Post reaches a new high point in the history of hitchhiking and online publishing. For this issue marks an achievement which, for pure, unadulterated perseverance in geekiness and snark, is unmatched in the annals of galactic communications...

To wit: Awix has now written 450 movie reviews.

When Awix first brought this landmark to my attention, I admit, my reaction was lukewarm. I say only this in my defence: previous Editors were too prone, in my humble opinion, to get out the commemorative balloons for any and all milestones: every Post and h2g2 anniversary was duly celebrated with pixellated bunting and poems that usually began, 'Another year has come and gone, and HooToo is still here…' So I have, perhaps, erred too much on the side of parsimony when it comes to springing for a 'first' party. But no more. Let wild hilarity reign this week! We are celebrating the 450th review of 24 Lies a Second in style, froods!

Let it be said that at the time of writing – an entire seven days before press time – we have no idea what Awix is going to write his review about. I never do. Our film critic usually tosses his contribution over the transom quite late in the week. But we're sure it will be worth the wait, as always. You'll find out almost as soon as we will. (We now know that as we were writing this, Awix was in a cinema watching Tarzan. What a brave man. Awix, not Tarzan.) But that's not all, no sirree bob...

This issue is chock full of cinema-related Stuff. We bring you cinema of the past. You Awix anoraks may test your 24 Lies knowledge in this week's Post Quiz. Spot the references throughout the issue, more numerous even than mentions of the Isle of Wight... And, of course, we hope you will add your personal congratulations to Nigel's.

On a serious note, Your Editor noticed in this week's Ask ('Does anyone else hate going to the cinema?') that some Researchers only go out to the multiplex once or twice a year. Awix does this every week. He watches drivel so you don't have to. You should thank him.

Personally, I searched Netflix for a film to review that was suitable for an hommage befitting the occasion. What I came up with you can read below. This, too, is presented as a public service, so that you do not confuse Noah with Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World.

Other areas of h2g2dom are not neglected amidst the cinema-related frivolity. Willem will inform you reliably, deeply, and in the most entertaining way possible about the Western Lowland Gorilla. Not to be confused with the Eastern Lowland Gorilla, or indeed, the Common American, some of whom, says Willem, actually outweigh gorillas...yeah, but only one of those species needs to go on a diet. I proclaim this Colours of Wildlife column to be the most informative one I've ever read. And the painting is splendid, as always.

Galaxy Babe and Freewayriding have been out and about. They share their insights via the medium of the digital photograph. View and enjoy.

Speaking of out and about, our Bluebottle was both. And probably almost out for the count. He ran. He endured. He lived to tell the tale, and tell it he did, to us, with pictures. All praise to him.

So…you won't just read this issue. You'll live it. You'll thrill to the films of yesterday and today. You'll be on the edge of your seats to see what we come up with next. (Don't fall off.)

Just remember to collect some Stuff of your own to send us, so that future issues will be this much fun. And have a great week!
P.S. The illustration is by Heath Robinson, and shows how to make a war movie really cheaply. Heath Robinson was ahead of his time. If he'd written a script for that, we're sure Amazon or Netflix would have filmed it.

A banner denoting pointless jubilation and self-congratulation on the part of the h2g2 Post

Dmitri Gheorgheni

(Animals Awix missed seeing because he was in the cinema)
  • Western Lowland Gorilla by Willem.
  • A robin in Parke Devon.

(The most important section because it contains cinema reviews)


(When they weren't in the cinema)

  • A disturbing road sign.
  • Galaxy Babe visited Babbacombe Model Village, and saw a miniature Stonehenge.


(Well, duh.)
  • Create July Challenge.

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