h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Come in and pull up a chair. Grab yourself a beer if you wish, brewed right here at the monastery, or if you fancy something a little harder there's a bottle of our own monastery-distilled liquor Careful now, it packs quite a punch

No bare-walled, stone-bed, ascetic monks' cell, this. This room is for those who enjoy life and its indulgences. The only thing done in moderation here is moderation. More ? Some to go with it perhaps? Or maybe you'd like some of our own to go with that ?

*brings in a basket of freshly made bread I thought you might like these.....

Ooh yes please Now, where's me toasting fork gone?

Good, good - that's the spirit

goo-divinin brothers, *folds towel*

Ive seen light from outside and wondered if you could share a beer with me.

I´m a peddler, but I don´t use money, I just banter. *opens big bag" here I have a few things you might be interested. I only want beer and a bed for tonight. Tomorrow I´ll go on my path.

Look, soap, made by myself, I can teach you how, just water, some herbs essences and tinctures, sodium hydroxide, not sure about the word in English, and oil, used oil.

some hair shirts, in different colors, spiked belts and chains. No, they aren´t to mortify the flesh, not at all, on contrary they are to stimulate the blood circulation, the pikes are made of wood, others out of hard rubber, you see, take one , feel it, you see? not pain.

so... where´s that beer?

Note to self: don´t show the spiked belts so out of the blue, it scares people.

drinks beer and leaves

I have some beer here in the fridge

I'll pass on the hair shirts though, thanks awfully.

By the way, you're all invited next Saturday morning (time differences be damned) for this http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b03xky8s

OOOO! hair shirts, adn spiked belts

Oh good grief

*walks in with a big plate of scones*

is this an inappropriate time?

There's never an inappropriate time for scones Shall I put the kettle on?

You'll have to take the hair shirt off, if you want to put the kettle on...

oh a cup of tea would be lovely!

cream and jam on your scone? butter?

All of the above please Shall I be mother?

oh go on then

Milk and sugar?

just a splash of milk please
*sets out scones, jam, cream and butter*

I say, these are very good scones *pours the * Do you think I could have the recipe?

Oh. no butter or jam for me... No.. really I coudln't.... Oh. OK then