Founded in 2014, the irreligious Monastery of the Order of the Towel is a refuge from the stresses and strains of the outside world

There is something here for everyone, and everyone is welcome.

Members may take a vow of silence if that helps, but it's not compulsory. Our founder KB says 'If I still have followers, and they want rules, I suggest these three:

I) Never be cruel.
II) Put yourself in the other person's shoes, before you decide what's in their interests.
III) Allow even the strongest woman or man you know, some peace and silence, because they might need it.'

The main feature of the Monastery is of course the Towel Folding Cloister. There, many towels await the washing, drying and folding experience that provides superior relaxation and zen. This Cloister is also the home of the nighthoover room where acolytes gather for the nocturnal cleansing ceremonies.

Further along is the Cloister of the Book for those who enjoy translating, illustrating and writing. Home to the Journal and the Entry, it is affiliated to the Flea Market, Peer Review and The Post

The Walled Garden is home to milch cows, honey bees and laying chickens, and provides food and flowers throughout the year, as well as zen and relaxation for those who enjoy pottering outdoors. Speaking of potters, the Store is near the Garden, and contains handmade pots filled with all kinds of produce, such as milk and butter, and flour for making bread. The Brewery is also here, as 'all the best monasteries brew their own beer'

Everyone has their own room complete with log fire to keep their feet warm. Rooms are for members to inhabit and decorate as they see fit - soundproofed, you can practice instruments from the bagpipes to the unplugged electric guitar (or even listen to... Cliff Richard) and nobody will be disturbed. Music performances generally consist of Gregorian Chants, 12th Century polyphony, ecclesiastical dubstep, steel drums, toccata and fugue... and no sopranos if at all avoidable.

The style of clothing is entirely up to each member's discretion, but since 'a towel... is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have', the carrying of a towel at all times is of course obligatory.