The Urban Myth of Meteors
Created | Updated Feb 10, 2013
It is obvious that superstition is still rampant among the public, and must be stamped out immediately.
The Urban Myth of Meteors
"Stones cannot fall from the sky, because there are no stones in the sky!" – Antoine Lavoisier, An Important Scientist.
Today, friends, I wish to address the problem of persistent superstition in our public thinking and policymaking. No, I am not referring to the global warming business. Everybody knows that global warming is an urban legend promulgated by left-wing liberals. It is perfectly obvious to all and sundry this January that the planet is not getting warmer, but colder. All that snow in the UK? I rest my case.
No, I wish to bring to your attention the pernicious belief in 'meteors' and 'meteorites' – every pseudoscience has its jargon, and these charlatans distinguish their fantasies. 'Meteors', of course, refer to rocks in the sky that are still falling. 'Meteorites', on the other hand, are rocks from the sky that have already landed on Earth. These tinfoil-hat specialists, who call themselves members of the US Geological Survey, or even claim to work for NASA, are forever finding 'evidence' of these meteorites everywhere.
Let's examine the historical record, shall we? It will be easy to see what the agenda of these proponents of the 'space rock' myth is. They're trying to turn us into superstitious peasants, and we won't have it.
The Evidence for Meteorites
Meteorites are mentioned in the Bible.
' The Lord cast down great stones from heaven upon them.' – Joshua 10:11.
Of course they are. That alone is reason not to believe in them. No right-thinking scientifically-minded person has ever even read that book.
We have several Approved Guide Entries on the subject.
Yes, we do, to our shame. This is something that must be taken up at the next meeting of the Guide Editors. How can we continue to tolerate Guide Entries such as Meteors, Meteorites, and Meteor Showers and The Evidence of Meteorite Impacts? I mean, please! The 'evidence' of 'meteorite impacts'? We'll be putting interviews with aliens in the Post next!
There was a meteor on display in ancient Delphi.
Another hotbed of superstition. Besides, Aristotle was having none of it. Aristotle did NOT believe in meteorites. He explained this: the heavens, being perfect, could not possibly have loose bits and bobs floating around to fall down on us. The idea was absurd.
When a 'meteor' proceeded to fall on Aegospotami in Thraki, Aristotle was undeterred. Careful SCIENTIFIC thought led Aristotle to the conclusion that these rocks, far from falling from the sky, actually originated on Earth. They were obviously blown aloft by heavy winds, thence to fall upon the credulous and unscientific.
Another theory advanced by learned Greek scientists was that meteors were formed in the atmosphere during heavy thunderstorms. For that reason, they were termed 'thunderstones'. This possibility has not yet been entirely ruled out, due to lack of funding and the tendency of governments to give grants only to quacks who believe in extraterrestrial falling rocks. It's sad, really.
The Evidence Against Meteorites
There were hardly any 'meteorites' in museums before 1790.
Of course not. Before that, most 'meteorites' were to be found in temples, being worshipped by the superstitious. After the renowned Lavoisier made his famous statement, the few holdouts were embarrassed, and threw away their 'meteorites'. Such is the power of Reason. Farmers who dared to show up at the Académie with 'meteorites' were shown the door. Ignorant peasants.
The 'meteor shower' of 1803 was obviously a French hoax.
On 26 April 1803, allegedly, more than 2000 rocks fell from the sky on the French village of L'Aigle. This caused the Académie Française to turn tail and run from the 'evidence'. 'Meteorites' reappeared in museums. Fortunately, the Americans held firm: Thomas Jefferson stated, 'I would sooner believe that two Yankee professors would lie than that stones would fall from heaven!' Now, there was a scientist!
Evidence of thunderstones exists.
In 1920, this report appeared in the journal Nature:
During a heavy thunderstorm which ensued on Monday, March 4, between 2:30 p.m. and 4.15 p.m., an aerolite was observed to fall at Conleny Heath, near St. Albans. The observed who has placed the specimen in my hands for examination, stated that the stone fell within a few feet from where he was standing, and that it entered the ground for a distance of about 3 feet. Its fall was accompanied by an unusually heavy clap of thunder. The example weighs 5 pounds 14 1/2 ounces and measures 6 3/4 inches by 5-5/8 inches at its great length and breadth respectively. The mass is irregularly ovate on the one side, and broken in outline on the other. The actual surface throughout is fairly deeply pitted, and under magnification exhibits the usual chondritic structure of the crystalline matter with interspersed particles of what appears to be nickeliferous iron.
You see? The truth is simply being ignored.
The Truth Will Out
Today, the superstitious belief in the existence of meteorites from outer space persists. The internet abounds with 'first-person accounts' of how a giant rock fell through someone's roof, or landed in the backyard, or was observed to fall in the South Forty. These reports have all the faux-verisimilitude of Bigfoot sightings and tales of alien abduction. At least, they don't claim they've been probed by sentient mineral matter. Whenever the newspapers and infotainment industry go through a slow period, out come the predictions of 'meteor showers'. Ugh.
This sort of nonsense must be stamped out. Let us call for a moratorium on reportage of space-rock cascades, and petition our governments to fund research into the thunderstone phenomenon.
The life you save may be your own.
When I look back on all the crap I learned in high school,
It's a wonder I can think at all.
But my lack of education hasn't hurt me none,
I can read the writing on the wall. – Simon & Garfunkel, 'Kodachrome'.
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