h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The closest thing to an adventure this post-Christmas season was the $50.00 gift card for Wal-Mart that my father gave me. First off, it struck me as a very generous gift, as my father collects Social Security and drives about 8,000 miles a year in order to visit my mother, who is a nursing home 12 miles away [Those daily round trips of 24 miles add up over the course of a year].

Anyway, the nearest Wal-Mart is twelve miles from my house. One trip there and back takes almost a gallon of gas in the Winter [less in the Summer], which is running more than 3 and a half dollars a gallon. I made two trips to Wal-Mart to use the gift card, so the gasoline reduced my haul by about $7.00. Happily, I was able to justify stopping at other stores and restaurants on the way, so it probably all averages out.

The first trip to Wal-Mart was supposed to be a search for a scarf, which I had hoped to receive at Christmas but didn't. Wal-Mart didn't have any scarves. It did, however, have a couple of nice knitted hats, which I picked up. I also threw some boxes of Triscuit crackers and a jar of peanuts into the cart. There was probably some other stuff, to,, but I can't remember what it was.

The second trip was the day before yesterday. On the way, I ate at my favorite restaurant and bought a book ["The Light Fantastic," by Terry Pratchett] at the book store nearby. Then I continued on to Wal-Mart, where I stocked up on toilet paper, paper towels, pens, hazel nut flavord coffee, and Listerine. This emptied the gift card completely. I even had to shell out 37 cents, but that's okay.

This all seems pretty banal. Would anybody ever be interested in reading this as a Guide Entry?

I got a cooking pot and a cookery book. I have a feeling everyone is saying that I'm the sort of woman who stays at home and cooks all day.

I did think of writing a poem in which such a gift inspires rebellion but I haven't got a version that works yet.

Did you drop hints that you wanted items like that?

No. What would I really like? Perhaps an evening out with a decent dinner and theatre.

That does sound good.

I rather like hearing about how other people spend their days, and since there are always local wrinkles as well as personal differences, I don;t find that sort of thing banal. Of course, I don;t live in the USA and I've never been to Wallmart, so I find that I am quite interested in it generally. Did you know we do not have an entry on Wallmart in the Guide? There's your Edited Guide entry mission right there, with the story of your trips written up for the Post....



But actually I am quite serious.

I have taken to quite firmly just telling my nearest and dearest what I want. My husband can be quite good at presents, but only when he doesn't have to be and my mother is quite appalling. I look forward to the poem, MVP.

I am actually having a bit of trouble with the topic this month. To write about a gift, anyway, although I suppose I could very smugly write about how I made most of my rellies their pressies myself this year. A thing, however, I can probably do.

I must have you mixed up with someone else, Solnushka. I thought you lived in Northern California. No?

Nope. London. We have even met. I may have been the heavily pregnant lady, depending on which meet it was you came to.

I came to the London Meet in 2011, not knowing whether it would be the last one ever. A few months later, we got the site from the BBC, and here we are. I remember a lot of people, but didn't get everyone's name. ....

Oh heavens, I didn't expect you to remember my name from that meet. It must have been most overwhelming, coming over as you did. I was merely giving you my most identifying characteristic. May 2011, there was I, nine months pregnant. I will actually be quite pleased if that failed to make much of an impression - in my memory I am bigger than a bus.

Pictures were taken. I'm not sure where to find them online. I was at the same table as Minichessmouse and Lil. I can't remember who else was at that table. Ben and Z were at the next table.