h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A87778408 - The Ray Harryhausen Sinbad Films
A87778417 - 'The 7th Voyage of Sinbad' - The Film
A87778426 - 'The Golden Voyage of Sinbad' - The Film
A87778435 - 'Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger' - The Film

Author: Bluebottle

Uni badges applied
Table of links removed, replaced with ordinary links

GB

The three projects were written in 3 different years, so it is a bit of a coincidence that they're all in Peer Review at the same time...

I'm sure GB knows how much I appreciate all her hard work - but I'll happily buy some and drinks at the next meet-up.

<BB<

In the overview entry A87778408 you already have links to "Egyptian Pyramids" and "The Great Pyramid". It would be nice if, in the section on pyramids on Mars, you managed to work in a link to A856442 A Pyramid on Mars.

How did I miss that one? Yes - we definitely need a link to that entry! (I caught 'Total Recall' (1991) on tv over the weekend, and that film was all about a pyramid on Mars.)

<BB<

I think that entry probably needs an update, so.

is this project ready to move along now?

GB

I've already proofread them, but haven't looked at them to see that all the changes I suggested were done correctly. If you like I can give them another proofread, but it might not be for a few days. Or if you're happy that all the changes that I suggested have been acted upon, then I'm happy.

I'd be happy for you to give them another check, thanks Gnomon. Or <BB< can check through the PR thread if he wishes? No rush, I'm pushed for time myself

GB

OK, here's the final proof-read. Only one point requires an answer from Bluebottle (in the Golden Voyage, about the blood), although he obviously can give his approval to all the rest, which can be carried out by GB.

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A87778408 The Ray Harryhausen Sinbad Films

It's normal to have a horizontal line HR/ after the link list at the top of a project. I don't think it is compulsory, but it's good to have consistency.

The first paragraph in the "Ray Harryhausen" section:

The sentence "He is unique in being a special-effects expert who created and controlled his own films." says the same thing as the following sentence. It could be removed without affecting the sense at all.

inspired by The Thief of Bagdad's Jaffar2 and feature lost lands -- add comma after the footnote, and change "and feature" to "and would feature":

inspired by The Thief of Bagdad's Jaffar2, and would feature lost lands

out of place in contemporary setting --> out of place in a contemporary setting

in 1956 Harryhausen persuaded Charles Schneer to pursue --> in 1956 Harryhausen persuaded Schneer to pursue

Harryhausen has always emphatically insisted -- sadly, since Harryhausen died, this has to be changed to:

Harryhausen always emphatically insisted

He defines monsters as being evil --> He defined monsters as being evil

Because of the very tight budget, when making the films Morningside Productions could not afford -- move the comma from after "budget" to after "films".

In the comparison table, remove the colon after Creatures.

an aquatic canal monster --> an aquatic canal creature

especially those set in Arabic --> especially those set in Arabian

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A87778417 'The 7th Voyage of Sinbad' - The Film

Again, a HR/ line below the link list would look good.

"The film was directed by Nathan Juran..." break up this long sentence into two by putting a full stop after "Earth".

Header: Making The 7th Voyage of Sinbad -- put The 7th Voyage of Sinbad in italics.

Harryhausen persuaded Charles Schneer --> Harryhausen persuaded Schneer

Although producer Charles Schneer had considered --> Although Schneer had considered

Two Cyclops fighting --> Two Cyclopses fighting (the Oxford English Dictionary gives the plural as either Cyclopes, which is not immediately recognisable to English readers, or Cyclopses, which is).

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A87778426 'The Golden Voyage of Sinbad' - The Film

Line HR/ under link list.

for a film proposal, however the project went nowhere -->
for a film proposal, but the project went nowhere

principal filming was made in Madrid -->
principal filming was done in Madrid

six-sword wielding Kali --> six-sword-wielding Kali

four lightsabre-wielding General Grievous --> four-lightsabre-wielding General Grievous

Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith -->
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith

(minor point, I know, but good to get it right)

the blood turning red on Koura's death -- not sure what this means. Is it "the water turning blood red on Koura's death"?

Her tattoo on her hand of an eye --> The tattoo of an eye on her hand

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A87778435 'Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger' - The Film

Line HR/ under the link list.

and will stop at nothing, not even the foulest black magic, to stop them. -- reword this to avoid the repetition of "stop":

and will stop at nothing, not even the foulest black magic, to foil them.

D'Artagnan --> d'Artagnan

(French name, different rules)

considering what film project to make next --> considering their next project

One sequence which went through many different versions was one in which Trog was to be introduced -->
A sequence which went through many different versions was the one in which Trog was to be introduced

Harryhausen's mentor's Willis O'Brien's greatest film -->
Harryhausen's mentor Willis O'Brien's greatest film

This bit is rather wordy:

"The pyramid itself is not shaped like the Great Pyramid of Giza or other Egyptian pyramids, but instead is angled much steeper and taller. This brings to mind many classical pictures of the Great Pyramid. Before its 'rediscovery' by Napoleon, Egypt was considered a distant, almost forgotten land in Europe. Included in the traditional Grand Tour of Europe is the tomb of Caius Cestius in Rome. His tomb is a steep-sided pyramid, and pyramid art in Europe up to the 19th Century shows Egyptian pyramids to have the same shape as the Pyramid of Cestius. The pyramid that is the Shrine of the Four Elements follows in this European pyramid tradition; Harryhausen would almost certainly have seen the Pyramid of Cestius when filming 20 Million Miles to Earth in Rome."

I suggest it could be stated simpler as follows:

"The pyramid itself is not shaped like the Great Pyramid of Giza or other Egyptian pyramids, but instead is angled much steeper and taller. This is similar to the pyramid tomb of Caius Cestius in Rome, a monument that Harryhausen would almost certainly have seen when filming 20 Million Miles to Earth in Rome."

Harryhausen who feels that many sequences --> Harryhausen who felt that many sequences

the arsinotherium may have grabbed the attention more -->
the arsinotherium might have grabbed the attention more

the subtle and warm characteristics of two of the film's best actors -->
the subtle and warm characters of two of the film's best actors

The characterisation of the baboon seems ape-like to be distinct yet human enough to -->
The characterisation of the baboon seems sufficiently ape-like to be distinct yet human enough to



That's the lot!

I'm happy to give my approval – and yes, I meant to write 'the water turning blood red on Koura's death'

Another very thorough read-through, Gnomon

<BB<

this is almost at the top of my list honest. I'll post again when all the corrections are done

GB

Take your time - I know there's far more important things on your list at the moment.

<BB<

(this is GB in disguise)

I have done all Gnomon's corrections, if you would please check them <BB< and note anything I may have missed? I've also added some missing links that I spotted and I do want to read it all through as soon as I have time

Now I must go get my mother's and chip lunch

GB

I've had a read through and yes, all the suggestions have been applied, so I'm happy with this.

<BB<

I have: removed the project page from PR. Made the entries edited (only The Ray Harryhausen Sinbad Films article will appear on the FP). Categorised the 4 entries in 3: Everything / Arts and Entertainment / Movies / Cinematic Works and created a new category for Ray Harryhausen in "Walk of Fame" then added all 4 entries to that new category (3. Everything / Arts and Entertainment / Movies / Walk of Fame / Ray Harryhausen - Stop-motion Animator) [and also added the original Ray Harryhausen EGE to that].

congratulations <BB<

GB

C56372 <--- new category for Ray Harryhausen.

GB

The trouble with creating a new category is it is an open invitation for someone like me to fill it...

<BB<