h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Visited Mom today. She says she doesn't want to go out for dinner on xmas if it means she's going to have to use the handicapped bathroom. So we'll eat whatever depressing meal is served at her place.

I don't mind so much. Mimi's had good food but it was crowded and noisy. Mom's place won't be noisy or crowded probably. My brother will be unhappy about this arrangement. He's the one who is most wanting to go out of all of us, I'd say. But I don't think we'll be any more depressed at Mom's place than we were at Mimi's. My brother may try to convince Mom to go out again, but I hope he can just deal with eating at her place.

I was talking to my dad about this and he agreed. My mom's dementia makes it pretty hard to carry on a conversation with her at the table, so we don't talk. If she does hear and understand whatever is being said, she contradicts whatever is said especially my dad.

So we just eat. Everyone else at Mimi's is having animated conversations around us and we just sit there shoveling food into our pie holes. If we were to have a conversation, I think it would be easier in the relative quiet of my mom's facility dining room.

I do hope your brother understands the added stress it puts on you if you eat out. And your mom will probably be a lot more comfortable in her own surroundings.

It's tough when dementia sets in. I've only experienced it with my step-nan. She fixated on one thing at a time, sometimes good, sometimes bad. On a good day she was a joy to be around, very easy to entertain - yes, you had the same conversation on a 5 minute loop, but she was happy and smiling. On a bad day, it didn't matter what you said, she'd bring the conversation round to her fixated subject and be tearful or angry. Every 5 minutes.

I hope you get to experience the occasional joy with your mom still

Deb

[Amy P]

Thanks Deb.

Hi Amy!