h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Christopher Reeve Era Superman Films Project Page - A87730130
Author: Bluebottle - U43530


Hello, I am the sub-editor for Bluebottle's Uni project The Christopher Reeve Era Superman Films

the films are as follows:
A87730158 - 'Superman' - The Film
A87730167 - 'Superman II' - The Film
A87730176 - 'Superman III' - The Film
A87730185 - 'Supergirl' - The Film
A87730194 - 'Superman IV: The Quest For Peace' - The Film

They have already been subbed as per the tradition of Uni projects, now they require at least a week in PR for reviewing.

Reviewers please note, if you have any comments please provide me with the A-number of the article you are reviewing, and separate posts would be a boon so I can reply to posting numbers. Thank you

GB

A87730158

The first thing I'd have to say about this is that the film was famous for Marlon Brando getting a huge payment for about 2 minutes worth of screen time. The reason was that they filmed a lot more, but it was cut to reduce the length of the film. Is the film you are describing the one as seen in the cinemas, or is it one with the extra 30 minutes or whatever it was?

Some nitpicking: (Normally don't do nitpicking in Peer Review, but it is needed for University Projects)


Although the fourth time Superman appeared in cinemas -- the grammar of this sounds wrong. I'd suggest "Although the fourth time that Superman had appeared in cinemas"

created the template for superhero films, a formula which is still being followed by superhero films
--
reword this to avoid the repetition of "superhero films"

and broadcast, however the Special Edition

-- the word "however" should not be used to join sentences together. That's what "but" is for. You can either replace this with "but" or use a semicolon to join the sentences, then start the second one with "however,". Even better, you could put "however" in second place in the second sentence.

"It was only after several million dollars had been spent, when front projection, combined with a new special effects system called the Zoptic Process was developed that allowed Christopher Reeve to look like he was able to fly against a changing background. " -- this sentence just doesn't work as it stands:

Paraphrasing the grammar: It was only after several million dollars had been spent, when A and B.

Rewrite it, perhaps splitting it up.

Donner considered the production work Hamilton had made in Italy useless -- shouldn't that be "done" rather than "made"?

the audience already associates him as being effectively locked up -- "as" is not the right preposition for "associates", I think.

"Although it is impossible now to imagine any other composer, initially Jerry Goldsmith, who had won an Academy Award for his music for The Omen and had composed music for films such as Capricorn One5 and The Planet Of The Apes was to compose the music, until scheduling prevented him from being able to."

This sentence is too long. Break it up.

Recurring Themes in Superman Films: -- remove the colon at the end of this

Change em dashes to en dashes.

"Fan Fair" - not sure what this is meant to be. Should it be "Fan Fare", ie, stuff that Fans might be interested in? Or "Fun Fare", things that are fun?

The Project also includes this one:

A87730149 The Christopher Reeve Era Superman Films

A87730167 - Superman II

approximately at least 75% complete - this is clumsy. YOu could say "approximately 75% complete," or "at least 75% complete"

two of the most key members of the team -- I don't think you can have "most key". Either they are a key member or not. You could use a different word.

"It is alleged that this was to allow him a Directed By screen credit, and that" -- change the "credit, and" to "credit: and". The second part is not independent of the first, it is an explanation of it.

The paragraph headed "Creation of the Richard Donner Cut" and the following two paragraphs, headed "Plot", appear to have a lot of repetition. I think they could be reworded to lay out the facts in a more straightforward way.

In lists, You should use and if the items in the list are long ones taking up more than one line.


who is now innocent of any offending actions against him. -- that's badly worded.

There's an extended character, a dash, in Superman II - the Richard Donner Cut just before "Which version is better".

"three roles: that of the bumbling Clark Kent, the heroic Superman as well as Kal-El, the mortal Superman after his transformation" -- because you use "as well as" rather than "and" here, it sounds like bumbling Clark Kent, the heroic Superman is one role and Kal-El, the mortal Superman is another, leaving us wondering what's the third role.

This should be:

three roles: that of the bumbling Clark Kent; the heroic Superman; and Kal-El, the mortal Superman after his transformation

is alternatively proud, suffering from ennui or indignant -- "alternatively" should be "alternately".

The character of Otis has a very minor role compared to Superman -- this is confusing. Perhaps "The character of Otis has a very minor role compared to that in Superman

"Fan Fair" -- still not sure about this

fearing it may damage his reputation --> fearing it might damage his reputation

I'm not going to be around over the weekend, so I'll just state in advance that I'm happy for all minor nit-picks to be corrected – spelling mistakes, grammar, repetition, sentence structure re-writing etc. I am very aware that I wasn't taught grammar at school, so yes, I often make mistakes.

A87730158 answers to Gnomon's points
It is both the theatrical and extended editions of the film.

With the Fan Fair sections, I did hesitate about using 'fare' as in items in a menu or 'fair' as in an exhibition. I used 'fair' as they are moments exhibited in the films for fans to enjoy and get excited about, like a fanfare. If you think 'fare' would work better, I don't mind either way.

<BB<

When Superman came out first there was more fuss about the amount Marlon Brando was paid for his brief appearance than there was about the film itself. I would have expected this to be mentioned in the entry.

Fan Fair is probably better because Fan Fare looks as if you've mispelled "Fanfare". So leave it as it is.

Ah – I wasn't alive when the film first came out, so the Marlon Brando fee controversy rather passed me by…

<BB<

Brando was the first actor to be paid $3 million for a screen appearance. At only 10 minutes on screen, this was a rate of $5,000 a second.

He also earned another $11,000,000 in a share of the profits of the film, bringing his earnings to $14,000,000 total or $23,000 per second.

In today's terms that's estimated to be equivalent to about $45,000,000 total.

A87730176 Superman III

in which Christopher Reeve has top billing. This is certainly well-earned, as Christopher Reeve plays three roles

-- change second "Christopher Reeves" to "he" to avoid repetition.

Plot Section

Characters should be referred to by just their first name or their surname after the first mention. For example, in the 2nd paragraph, every reference to "Ross Webster" except the first one should be changed to "Webster".

The Making Of Superman III -- change Of to lowercase

re-write / re-written -- no need for a hyphen in this word (occurs more than once)

which the Newman's originated the whole story for -- should be no apostrophe in Newmans, and originated is the wrong verb. You can't originate something. It originates with you.


Lex Luther is spelled like that in this entry, but he was Luthor in at least one of the previous entries. Which is correct?

Vera Webster, her brother's scheming sister -- this is badly worded. Of course she is her brother's sister. You should say "Ross's scheming sister".

Gus Gorman Section - once again, his full name is used too often.

You have "Crystals seen include:" but no crystals.

judging from the noises heard in Vera Webster's room next door -- this would be clearer as:

judging by the noises heard by Vera Webster from the room next door


In 1956 television Superman actor George Reeves -- put a comma after 1956

Typo: seduce Loreli

104 22 minute television episodes --> 104 22-minute television episodes

I'll go through the whole lot to change the mdashes to ndash (I thought that was correct, my fault). Then I'll tackle the rest of Gnomon's suggestions, I'll be posting in another open window as I do them to save a lot of postings. Sorry I missed the first article off, it's my rushing about at lunch to get them in here, mutter mutter

Post 9:

<>

<>

<>

<>

<>

<>

<> Lex Luthor is correct. I have been through all the entries to ensure it is correct.

<>

<>

< 104 22-minute television episodes>>

<>

<>

<> Yes, something missing there, I'll let BB deal with that!

Post 4

<>

<>changed to "most valued"

<<"It is alleged that this was to allow him a Directed By screen credit, and that" -- change the "credit, and" to "credit: and". The second part is not independent of the first, it is an explanation of it.>>

<>

< fearing it might damage his reputation>>

<<"three roles: that of the bumbling Clark Kent, the heroic Superman as well as Kal-El, the mortal Superman after his transformation" -- because you use "as well as" rather than "and" here, it sounds like bumbling Clark Kent, the heroic Superman is one role and Kal-El, the mortal Superman is another, leaving us wondering what's the third role.

This should be:

three roles: that of the bumbling Clark Kent; the heroic Superman; and Kal-El, the mortal Superman after his transformation>>

<>

<<The character of Otis has a very minor role compared to Superman -- this is confusing. Perhaps "The character of Otis has a very minor role compared to that in Superman>>

<<In lists, You should use and if the items in the list are long ones taking up more than one line.>> I'll check all the bullet lists and add tags where required.

Attention BB: <>
<>

post #2:

<>

<>

<>

<>

<>

<>

<<"Although it is impossible now to imagine any other composer, initially Jerry Goldsmith, who had won an Academy Award for his music for The Omen and had composed music for films such as Capricorn One5 and The Planet Of The Apes was to compose the music, until scheduling prevented him from being able to."

This sentence is too long. Break it up.>>

<>

tags added to bullet points

Attention BB:
<<"It was only after several million dollars had been spent, when front projection, combined with a new special effects system called the Zoptic Process was developed that allowed Christopher Reeve to look like he was able to fly against a changing background. " -- this sentence just doesn't work as it stands:

Paraphrasing the grammar: It was only after several million dollars had been spent, when A and B.

Rewrite it, perhaps splitting it up.>>

GB

Re Post 11 (discussing post 9):
> Yes, something missing there:
Synthetic Kryptonite is used in an attempt to kill Superman, but instead corrupts him and creates Naughtyman.
Superman uses his super-strength to transform a lump of coal into a diamond.

<BB<

Re Post 12 (discussing post 4):
Attention BB: <>
Superman II – The Richard Donner Cut therefore ends with Clark Kent attacking an innocent man.

<>



Creation Of The Richard Donner Cut
There are two main versions of the film Superman II; The Richard Lester and Richard Donner cuts. The Richard Lester cut is the version of the film that was released in cinemas in 1980 and is 122 minutes long.
After the release of the Extended Edition of Superman on DVD in 2001 included several previously deleted scenes, a internet campaign to see the Richard Donner cut of Superman II was launched by Superman fans. At first Richard Donner was reluctant to be involved, and although all the scenes that Richard Donner had shot were still safely in storage in the studios in England, it was unknown whether it would be possible to use any of the crucial and previously unseen Marlon Brando footage.
The filming of Superman Returns, which also used this footage, was the starting point for negotiations to take place with Brando's estate. Permission was given for Brando's performance to appear. Richard Donner, however, remained reluctant to become directly involved; most of the restoration work was done by Reconstruction Editor and Producer Michael Thau. Finally in 2006, after a wonderful example of an internet campaign at work, Richard Donner's 111 minutes long Cut of Superman II was released as an alternate version of Superman II.
Sadly, how original director Guy Hamilton would have made Superman II will never be known.

Plot
The two versions of the film broadly have the same plot, but there are important differences. Some of these are trivial; the order in which scenes appear also is different between the two versions and the scenes themselves are of different lengths. Other differences are quite noticeable. These plot reviews therefore contains spoilers. Some Richard Lester footage remains in the Richard Donner version and some of the footage in the Richard Lester version, including all scenes containing Gene Hackman, were filmed by Richard Donner.

<BB<

Re Post 13 (discussing post 2):
Paraphrasing the grammar: It was only after several million dollars had been spent, when A and B. Rewrite it, perhaps splitting it up.>>


Several million dollars was spent on trying to trying to create the flight scenes, including on animation and the unconvincing use of dummies and radio-controlled aircraft shaped like Superman. The revolutionary technique finally used was front projection combined with a new special effects system called the Zoptic Process. This allowed Christopher Reeve to look like he was able to fly against a changing background.

<BB<

All done (including tweaks)

I am reminded of my conversation with BB during the subbing process about calling 'Bad Superman' "Naughtyman".

I have checked IMDb and there's no reference to the actual name of Bad Superman, BB has chosen to call him "Naughtyman" for the purpose of this particular entry (Superman III). BB's point was that he didn't do anything too "bad" that couldn't be rectified later, he was just "naughty". I disagreed, as I distinctly recall him blowing out the Olympic torch, just before it was about to be used to light the Olympic flame for the duration of the Games. This couldn't be rectified.

I would like to hear other reviewers' opinions on the name of Bad Superman/Naughtyman

GB

(According to various websites, including that Wikipedia thing, the Olympic Flame in the torch has occasionally gone out. Fortunately they have back-up Olympic flames from the same source so the original can be re-lit if needed. A back-up Olympic Flame could be used to re-light the torch and cauldron in Superman III with no lasting harm done.)

<BB<

Well, a name like "Evil Superman" would certainly be over the top. Perhaps "Moderately Evil Superman"?

While I don't like the name "Naughtyman" myself, I can't see anything wrong with it. But I'd make sure that it says in the main text that this name was invented by the author of the entry, rather than putting it in a footnote. The reader really needs to know this the first time the name is used.

OK Gnomon, would you like to reword it then BB?