h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Blame it on the Microbes - A854444
Author: Farlander - U206300

This is my second article, and the first I'm sending for review. It's something I'd worked on a little while back, and felt was a shame to let it go to waste. Have rewritten and spruced it up a bit, but don't know if I'm still being a bit sarcastic, or if there are bits that need correcting. Would appreciate any comments and advice. Thanks.

Hi Farlander!

There's some good information there but your style of presentation will need to be changed away from a more 'essay-ish' one. Rather than talking to a virtual counterpart, entries for the Edited part of the Guide ought to be written in third person style (with very few exceptions like 'my experience with cancer').

Up to 'Living with microbes' you're overdoing the 'setting the scene' part. Using fewer words and omitting most of your rhetorical questions would be *more*. Please pick a few Edited entries at random and see what I'm talking about

I wonder why the word 'symbiosis' doesn't appear anywhere in the entry - after all, you're talking about the mutual benefits. For side effects you could link to A673508

Oh, Aspergillus niger appears to be *good* for something! I've only heard of it in connection with the dangers of lacking hygiene with contact lenses.

"eat anything that has passed its due date" / "canned tuna fish disaster" - IMHO Botulinus somewhatingensis should be called by name here, and more details about the disaster added (or linked to).


To sum it up - it's almost there but the style needs some twirking.

Hi...

I'm with Bossel. There's some work to do on this one. The idea is great, nevertheless.

Some links you might want to check out (or even include):

A471575 Bacteriophages
A506396 Gram Stain Technique
A533954 Bacillus 2-9-3
A712612 The History of Optical Microscopy
A727238 Microscopes

I don't know about the US, but I remember being taught thoroughly in school (at the tender age of 9-10) that microbes are essentially good - eg in fermentation, humus etc. and that only few are bad to human beings. So the fact that there are many microbes and that most of them are harmless did not surprise me as much. At leat not as much as this 'surprising fact' it is being portrayed in this Entry - I am personally a bit uncomfortable with that... But probably it's just me.

See you,

HELL

Indeed, and sorry dude but you might want to check out this article already in the edited guide and written by me

A591374

In fact I'd appreciate a link. Its a good idea to search if someone's already written an article on one of your subjects.

Good stuff in this one though I must say. Might it be coold to mention that everyone has about 1kg of E. coli in their intestines at any one time. This is a bacterium that is definitely getting some bad press these days, shame.

Orcus

I don't know if anybody's mentioned it yet, but your article's written in first person. Put it in third, and you'll be ready for the edited guide.

omg my article is still in peer review? i thought i'd taken it down! i've been reworking it on my home pc, trying to get it to flow in 3rd person style and adding more facts... thanks for your comment though, i never thought people would come by it again

cheers!

Hey Farlander, cool to know you are still working on this one. It would be great if you could take it off PR by yourself, this saves us some 'bureaucracy'.

I'll be waiting for the new version.

HELL

thanks there's a four-day holiday just around the corner, maybe i'll spend that time polishing the article

Cool - it's worth the trouble, I think. And you shouldn't need to remove this thread from Peer Review - as long as you update the original article that it's linked to. When you finish the updates, post to this thread and let us know.

Yeah, well I thought you'd need more time, that's why I suggested you removing this thread. However, if it's just four days, no problem.



HELL

oh right... i should've removed this ages ago... remind me where it is again?

There's a 'remove' link at PeerReview if you're using Goo or Alabaster, and it's an 'x' in the leftmost column if you're in Brunel. However, I'd rather like you to knock the piece into shape and keep it where it is

er yeah, i have another version that i'm toying with in my laptop at the moment, but for the moment i've taken it off peer review lest some passing scout thinks that it's ready or something. thanks for your support!

well, then

...I'll keep my eyes peeled for the new version.

Cheers,

HELL
(unsubscribing)

sir bossel, whatever happened to your arrows and fruit flies??? i rather liked that one...