h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Dear jwf (friend),
As you may have gathered, I have known a few folk who killed themselves - fortunately nobody REALLY close - and the comments are largely based on those cases. 26 years ago I came very near a successful suicide myself. I'm glad I was saved - not so much for myself, although it's been a very good life - mostly - but for the effect it would have had on my sons. I knew a boy who killed himself in part because his father had done it. This explains the comment "if you know anybody under the age of 18 who loves you,you must not do it" Maybe this ought to be either the first or the last point. Other than moving that, I think it can stand, except perhaps that "innocent bystanders" should be followed by "like train drivers".The various points seemed obvious to me, but I've just spent the day teaching very low level English speakers.
I don't mind being identified as the author. It's a subject I feel strongly about, whenever I'm forced to think about it.

Great !!
Check this space from time to time in the next couple of weeks. I would like to experiment with laying it out so it flows more like the famous 'Desiderata' list which it echoes in my mind.

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste ... the Universe is unfolding as it should."

To me it has that same tone of timeless wisdom and I want to make sure that this is obvious to everyone. Also want to 'generalise' it and take out any specific identifying references. If I overstep my editorial bounds and spoil it for you please say so. If you agree to having your name on it, then I need to know you are happy with any changes I make.

Note that I will move it from here to an AggGag page when we have agreed on its final setup; so this page will be deleted and if we both then unsubscribe this thread, no one will ever see these working notes. And if any should stumble by here in the meantime I will quite rudely point out to them that only fools and generals judge unfinished work. In the main however, I like to think most hootists will respect the fact that we are trying to save a life or two here.

~j~

Take a look now.
Any comments? Suggestions?
Is the last line too glib?

~j~

Yes.
Sorry - long teaching day. Will try to get back with more considered comments this evening.

Fair enough.
It's the 'gag' in the AggGag 'gag' thing. Always trying get a laugh, even when the subject and purpose is serious; especially when it's deadly serious.

How about the same idea expressed as "..keep this list handy. It's important to get things sorted properly the first time, because you'll only get one shot at this if you do it right."

Oh ..OK then, you try.

Once we've agreed on the final text, I'll hide the entry until just before #42 comes out (two weeks) and I'll add your online nickname as the 'writer/researcher' at that time. It will then also appear as an entry on your homepage so it has to be the way you want it. Because this entry is being created on my page, you will not be able to edit or delete it. If you want to have control of the 'edit rights' you'll have to create the entry yourself on your own page and we'll link to that and I'll lift it verbatim to an AggGag page for Archival purposes.
~jwf~

I didn't realise that cut&paste to here would take out titles etc.Doing it the other way didn't/ So means I've made an alteration
blank (under construction)

Some thoughts to share with anyone planning to end it all So, you're contemplating suicide. Here's some advice.
Things that need doing Leave a message - clearly addressed to the coroner. Leave short, loving messages to anyone else that may need them.
Don't talk about it beforehand. If you say it's not up for discussion, then don't land anyone with the guilt of not having been able to persuade you to change your mind.
Before you go, clear up all your affairs. Close your bank accounts etc. Make sure all your bills are paid. Make arrangements with an undertaker for the disposal of your remains - you don't have to tell them when. Just have a paid up plan of some sort and leave it somewhere obvious.
Sell or give away all your possessions to your favourite charity. Destroy all old letters. Throw out all rubbish. Clean the place, especially the fridge. Mementoes that you want specific people to have should be clearly labelled and accompanied by a copy of your will.
Make sure the method you have chosen is foolproof. Too many failures end up permanently disabled and unable to finish the job. Make sure that nobody will find you in time to bring you back.
Give serious thought to who is going to find your body. The shock, even for someone who is used to death, can be considerable.
If you know anyone under the age of 18 who loves you, you must not do it.
And please don't involve innocent bystanders.
This sounds very cold. It isn't meant to be. I have been where you are standing and you have my continuing love and respect whatever you decide to do / whatever you have decided, and I am so sorry for your pain. Finally , remember that you're perhaps not thinking clearly, so keep this checklist handy. And don't rush off until you can say in good conscience that you have taken care of business. Anything worth doing is worth doing well.

Do we need a footnote to explain coroner for non-Brits?

Yes, some very judicious edits! And mostly for clarity - including my embarassing use of that very unnecessary comma in the last line (thank you teacher )

I think I made all the changes. Hope I understood the intention of moving the '18 year old' line down one paragraph and got it placed correctly. Have one final butcher's and lemme know so I can hide the entry until it's due.

peace
~j~

PS: On the subject of unnecessary commas, we recently recruited Dragonlady, who, like me, being a former radio announcer, tends to write, quite understandably, if you think about it logically, in short phrase groups, as if speaking out loud, the commas indicating said breath-logic stops. I fear I offended her with my insight into this peculiar industrial habituation. When, really, all I wanted to do was share, share our common affliction, even thanking her for making me uncomfortably aware of just how this conversational style must appear, to others, in print. But, perhaps, anything worth doing, is worth overdoing.

Coroners are well known in North America. It is the standard term for the chief public medical officer appointed to represent the interests of the state (crown,government,municipality,etc)
And thanks to TV shows like 'Quincy', I think English speakers worldwide will understand. Course, y'never know about the antipodeans, but they do have TV now. And those for whom Eng is a 2nd language will easily find it in any dictionary if they need to look it up.
~j~

One further thought. I realise that your phrase 'the guilt of not having been able to persuade you' is grammatically correct.

But I, in my sloppy NorthAm TV dialog way, would write 'the guilt of not being able to persuade you'. The tense is wrong of course and sounds lazily imprecise to an educated ear, but isn't the intended core meaning clearer and more emphatic with a simpler verb construction?

I hasten to add that the problem arises now only because of the way I altered your original posting. In trying to eliminate all reference to the specific situation of the original conversation thread I created a bit of a run-on sentence. My intention was to make the statement more generic but I have also succeeded in making the sentence too long to support your compounded verb.

~j~

I should have changed "anyone else that may need them" in the first para to "anyone else who may need them". What an irritable, desiccated pedant I am! (starting Lady B tonight)
I think I would let you simplify the guilt clause, although I do, of course, have an affection for the more complicated version.
I am particularly hot on commas, because Chinese punctuation has very little in common with English. They operate on the newsreader principle of putting in a comma to indicate a breath group. (Coincidentally, one of my fellow thesps has recently strted writing news bits for the local office of CNN. He finds it quite difficult)

I think it's now hideworthy.

Tis hid. And your name is now attached as writer/researcher. It appeared briefly on your homepage entries list before I hid it.

One final thought, the title.
I had called it "Advice for Suicides" in the inroduction I wrote for the rough draft of of AggGag 42 (which is also hidden) but I hadn't asked ask your opinion. You may be thinking the 'subheader' I used: "Thoughts to share with anyone planning on ending it all" would be the title. And if that or anything else you suggest is more to your liking, then so it shall be.

~j~

Whichever - fine by me. Unsubscribing. If you need to say anything else go back to the craic