h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Vigo whashisname? Isn't he a footballer?

I watched The Devils last night, so as long as they're dressed like nuns, it'll do for me.

B

The fact you watch Ken Russell explains a lot Master B.

I don't know what all the fuss was about - I thought it was quite a good film, atually.

B

The book is very salacious. Got most of my 'education' from that!

Mine came from The Godfather. Page 27, if I remember rightly.

B

*goes for the obvious joke*

What you do with horses heads is between you and the police!

I am absolutely in awe of this conversation. Especially the fact that Abi is responsible for most of it

OK, so if I can't convince Ashley to sleep with me, do you think he'd let me take him home as a sort of centerpiece (*smirk*). He *does* want so badly to come to the US. Pfft..my citizenship might be the only thing about me he'd want..I don't know whether to laugh or cry. .

A centrepiece?

I can't really imagine Ashley squatting in the middle of the table while you all have Thanksgiving dinner...

Or do Americans mean somethintg else by 'centrepiece'?

B

I think I mean more toting him around so I can pet him and love him and sit on his lap and and and...

Oh Ashley, why ya gotta be so cruel!

*falls over*

B, why do I keep falling over in conversations with you? Quit tripping me.

It's a swooning effect. I have it on most women.

B

Swooning hmm? Nothing at all to do with jealousy over my pining ridiculously for a man I can't have when the Master B option is right in front of me?

Please...to think I'd be so shallow as to get jealous over some random Yank I met on the Net.

B

Random Yank??

*clutches at heart*

<cry<

*puts on best Humphrey Bogart-Raymond Chandler accent*

Lay off the waterworks, darlin' - they don't hold no truck with me.

B

I've every right to feel insulted, really I do.

*hits Master B over the head with a rubber chicken*

I don't remember that bit in the African Queen...

B

That was in the Directors Cut.

Hmmm...sort of ruins your perceptions of what may have happened on the sets of John Huston's films...

"Hold still, Bogie...Robert Morley's gonna hit you over the head with this rubber chicken. What? Yes, of course it's a classic - it'll make my name in directing, will this. And....ACTION.......Brilliant. That's a wrap. Re-stage for the football in the groin scene please."

B

altogether now:
hold a chicken in the air , stick a deck chair up your nose

Did we discover whther there's a piano or not?