h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Damn it all!

*Mystrunner dives and catches YS and PG around the waist, and barrels out of the way of the slab.*

Keep moving! We must make it!

*The chasm is almost within sight.*

i just hope the lightning comes in time
still i have the sword
i dipped the blade in the most potent poison i own
[the 1 that nearly killed me while getting immune 2 it]
and anyway theres 3 of us

Back both of you!!! *struggles free from Mystrunner* Keep that blade drawn, woman.

Legion, leave those two alone! You traded fair and square. If you have an ax to bury, it's with me!!!
*puts hand on sword hilt but does not draw it*

*keeps eyes on mr legion*
let me know when your ready mystrunner
and ive got something 4 u
*puts hand in pocket and draws out a vial with red liquid in*
after all my immunities my blood became the most potent poison of all
*places it in mystrunners hand*
a little goes a long way
and i didnt know if id b alive 2 give this 2 u after the quest

*Takes the poison.*

PG, I have an favor to ask of you. I need you to go back to the Castle, and warn the Knights. I feel that even if we do destroy the plasticine, the world will still be in peril.
The Knights must be ready for the full enslaught, and such, they need to prepare.

Find the offices, and the first of my name is not what it seems, use it, and talk to the others. Give them my message, and begin preparing.

*A tear opens behind them.*

I cannot take you too far, for my strenght is waning. Hurry. I cannot hold it open for too long. And stay with them. I feel that you will be needed.

Making plans against me, are we? And I just a simple megalomaniac, worked his way up from the mailroom so to speak, and never a scrap o' food on the table that I didn't earn with my own two fists of steel...

Regardless. You will fail. I have arranged for a little surprise at the Chasms of Damp. I hope you will find it...amusing.

Mwahahaha!

But to keep you occupied in the meantime, here are some magically-summoned monsters.



Find the plasticine, and kill the bearers!

*throws hands 2 the sky and absorbs the bolt
pg mutters a few words and channels the extra energy in2 an orb
she directs it at the nearest monster where it channels from monster to monster til all their energy has been absorbed in2 the orb where she then re-absorbs it*
ok mystrunner
*hands sword 2 yankee shoes*

*claims sword and begins deftly hacking monsters to bits*

what ever u do dont cut urself with that sword!
mystrunner i need the link

Remember, the first of my name!

A727067

*Turns to bear on monsters. Squints through the snow, trying to see what they are...*

Over here! *sends combustible poweder alight in a shower over her battle*

*With a roar, Mystrunner charges into the mob, his knives seeking out throats and hearts with unnerring accuracy. After a few minuits of harsh fighting, the monsters lay dead.*

Do not think you can stop us Leigon! You are doomed!

*The Chasm comes into veiw over the edge of the ridge.*

Only a few more yards!

he seems 2 think we can be tempted
he made me an offer!
i cudnt believe he even tried!

sorry if i weirded u out there!
im using telepathy 2 communicate with u!

Oh dear. You seem to have reached the Chasm. Once again, oh dear.



And now I expect you will wish to cast the plasticine in. That's what you want to do, isn't it?



You'd better get it over with, then...

*Leans forward gleefully*

Go on! Cast it in!

*Eyes sparkle*

I think I have strength enough for this... goodbye, my friend...

*Mystrunner leaps into the chasm, with the plasticine in one fist. He slowly vanishes from sight. At the very limit of hearing, the sound of what was like an inrush of air, like a doorway in space/time opening.*

*Mystrunner appears back up, his hair wind ruffled.*

Just wanted to give it a bit of help along. You know, so no one tried to grab it...

*voice flickers in2 mystrunners head*
well done!

Quite understandable. There are some pretty e-vil people in this world. Excuse me...

*Jumps over the edge of Chasm - parachute opens*

*The scene shifts to a concrete floor, surrounded by dripping walls which seem to climb for an eternity. In the centre of the floor is a small circle of flat, squishy stuff*

*Walks over to circle, peels it off the floor, squashes it into a ball and pockets it*

You know how much this cost? Nearly five grand, for two hundred thousand tons of concrete. Then there was labour costs, getting all the teamsters all the way up here...I actually had to *fly in* a cement mixer, you believe that? You see, I've plugged the Chasm, or most of it. Since you don't seem to have any shattered bones Mysty, I'll presume you didn't follow the plasticine down *quite* this far.



Mwaha! Don't worry, I'm not planning on using it...just yet... And if you want it - come and get it! I hang around the BoE most of the time...

*Pausing only to , disappears in a puff of smoke*

not so fast!
*poison girl appears behind mr legion and grabs him*
u may be invisible 2 most ppl but i can still see u!
now about the plasticine...how cowardly are u anyway?
*musters a few words and mr legion appears.pg pulls a small dagger and places it against his neck*
now mystrunner did u see wot pocket he put it in???
and before u try to escape one scratch off the dagger and u will b out b4 u hit the floor

You may kill me, but you'll never find the plasticine now! I've already secreted it in a very safe place far away. No, not in my pockets.

*Turns out pockets - they are empty*

So play with that dagger all you like - I care not. I do not fear death - for reasons which will become apparent if you kill me...

*Struggles against Poison Girls grip*