h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Myst darling, mail me a link, will you? I'd love to see ya!

Legionsy dear, what is this sudden obsession with you and bunnies? You haven't been off in the Caymans doing porno shoots all this time without me, have you? *looks generally hurt, takes a slice of *

I'll give it over IM. I'll have the good one later.

Okay then!

*waiting patiently for it*

It's there, again.

*Sips some cool lemonaid in the sun.*

*Coughs nervously, attempts to hide tropical tan, chunks of greasy banknotes emerging from pocket*

Cayman islands? What rubbish. Pass the scones, please.

*passes the scones, nabbs a couple cucumber sandwiches, and a cuppa *

So, this is a picnic, shouldn't we have a game?

Good idear!

What game?

*pours <vodka&vimto> into an empty *

Oh how civilised, croquet anyone?

Good idea. Can we play with flamingos, and a hedgehog as the ball? That's Australian rules, I think... could be wrong.

*Brandishes a flamingo by the feet, advances threateningly on cowering hedgehog. Flamingo twists neck around, looks at Legion*

Flamingo: "Durrr, you're purdy "

I specifically requested a *dead* one. Jeez!

*Glares at flamingo.*

That can be arranged.

*a descends from the sky, bearing a large purple flamingo*

Ah, thankyou, Derrael!

*Uses bird to goose Legion on way up to Granny*

Would you like to go first Gran Weatherwax?

*Pulls out a black flamingo from under his cloak, and notices some stange looks.*

What? I don't know how things get there.

*consentrates for a few moments and a gun metal grey flamingo materialises in her hands*

Right, I'm ready then.

*notes the strange looks, looks over an Myst, shrugs*

I wouldn't think that they would be surprised about this sort of thing anymore...

*rummages around in the rucsak & produces a , gives it a LOOK and it metamorphasises into a very black, skinny flamingo with a very large head*

Thanks petal, I don't mind if I do go first

*finishes , steps up to the oche & punts hedgehog through first hoop*

*Talking secretively to his dog sidekick, twirling moustaches*

Little does the foolish YS realise that I've put a BOMB inside her hedgehog...when she hits it with her wretched bird, KABLOOIE!

Dog: "Yuk yuk yuk."

Quiet, Muttly.

*Hits a croquet trick shot - hedgehog shoots under one hoop and sticks in the dog, who howls with pain and runs under the next hoop before shedding it*

*picks up hedgehog, tosses it to Legion*

You wouldn't mind testing this out for me, would you? Thanks, love!

*Leans on flamingo in that relaxed, slightly arrogant way of all players of any sport with a bat or a club.*

I've not got game, methinks.

I TEND TO BE ALL RIGHT AT THIS KIND OF SPORT...

Ooops... sorry... Heh... Curse that Voice.

*Myst takes a swing at the hedgehog, which imbeds itself in the flamingo. Swearing, Myst shakes it, and the hedgehog flies off into the first hoop.*

*Blinking naively, swings at bomb-rigged hedgehog...KABLOOIE*

Curses!

Muttly: "Yuk yuk yuk."

That's *it*.

*Whistles. Two burly vets come on and drag off the dog, while one of them loads a shotgun*

He tried to bite me. You all saw it