h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ow!

*SPLAT*

You git

*reforms, but gets confused and ends up with Lou's head as well as her own*

*globs back together*

*wanders around like a headless... lou?*

*pumps sulphuric acid gas into the room*

*wanders whats happening*

*breathes in a lung full*

aaaah! That cleared my sinuses.

*breathes in... then realises has no head and is impossible*

*begins to choke*

I can sing again!!

*sings the score from madame butterfly loudly and out of tune*

*appears*

wow.

You probably shouldn't be in here.
The air's been subsituted for gaseous sulphuric acid.

then sacrifice yourself giving me the last remaining pieces of air in the room while also making me a colesaw, cucomber and ham sandwich, without butter, and with white bread (2 slices)!

and decompressed

the air that is, not the sandwich. but whilst your at it, i'll have one as well

*looks sulky*

Was that an order, or a request?

creachy, my subordinate, you can make me a sandwich of cucomber and tuna, no butter, white bread (2 slices) too!

that was an order. a DIRECT order! that goes for werekitty AND creachy!

*looks at werekitty...*

*sighs, and finds the bread, whilst muttering rebelious things*

*wanders up to behind werekitty and whispers in her ear*

you were supposed to look back at me and then we both murder him or something similar

but it was a direct order.

*hands him a sharp knife*

That means we can only kill him AFTER obeying it. You cut the cucumber.