The Associative Arms Pub

6 Conversations

Est. 2002
Prop. Researcher PSG

Welcome to the Associative Arms public house, this isn't to mean that we are a place that homes the public, although certain members seem to live here. We are in fact a place for drinking interspersed with conversation and the occasional trips to the toilet, however we do supply a jukebox set to "Annoyingly loud" in order to reduce the amount of time you spend talking and not buying drinks from us.

However we are unusual as pubs go, even though from the outside we do look like the standard Victorian corner pub (popularised by the UK soap opera Eastenders), we are in fact housed in an associative building1. This means that all the rooms within the pub don't exactly reside there, but are in fact pinched from other buildings and times. This allows us to offer a unique range of ambiences, but does make finding the toilet a bit tricky when you are half cut. And on more than one occasion it has been known for us to receive a strongly worded letter from the PM after someone has left the downing street room by the wrong door.

But are crowning achievement in associative construction has to be the main bar itself, where each section of the room exists in another spacial temporal location. Which means every time you cross to the jukebox, it is quite possible for you to cross 27 time zones and break at least 6 laws of physics.

Tables in the Main Bar

A full list of the drinks served at the bar is available here.

The benefit of the main bar being an associative construction is that each table has it's own unique ambiance.

How to create a table in the main bar is easy, all you have to do is create a conversation with a table number, the location of the table (which can be anywhere or anywhen in time and space), and in the first posting a brief description of the tables location.

Please describe your table and start your conversation here...

Here are some examples of tables:

Table 1 : The Lords Cricket pavillion, UK 1926 AD

Looking out on the hallowed lord's cricket ground the position of table 1 is almost ideal, especially seeing as how it is trapped repeating a particularly sunny day when a nice game of cricket was played. However, if anyone sitting in the seat next to the cricket bats could duck when it gets to about 2:30pm, the management would be grateful as it is anxious to avoid lawsuits relating to cricket ball injuries.


Table 23 : The Paratraxis room, San Francisco, USA 2293 AD

Following the great earthquake in the early 2020's, and the biotechnological revolution San Francisco looks alot different from the city of today, and the Paratraxis room is a product of that change. It boasts the most unique combination of modern design and bioengineering in its decoration, from Albert the semi-sentient coat stand, to Pofiloufus the abstract painting with a salt allergy, the room is so full of life you won't know whether to sit on a chair or shake hands with it and converse pleasantly about the weather.

By the stage the associative arms took it over it had been abandoned and built over for a couple of centuries and was a little worse for wear. It has also left alot of the design features with so many personality problems and abandonment issues that it was too expensive to give them all counselling, so we have instead decided to describe them as 'characters' and hope they don't kill anyone.


Table 14 : The platform of Downstreet Station, London, UK 1996 AD

Downstreet station was originally an underground station, but in 1932, it was decided it was surplus to requirements. And apart from a brief stint as a secret underground bunker for Churchill during WW2 it has been left empty ever since.

Table 14 is located on the small stretch of platform still remaining after the bunker conversion, and is right next to the 'win a tenner' quiz machine. However patrons are advised to keep there glasses away from the trackside edge of the table as they have a tendancy to be blown away as trains rush past.


Table 5 : The Nags head, Peckham, London, UK 1989 AD

The Nags head has all the charm you would expect from a bog standard local pub, unfortunately it is a regular watering hole for alot of London traders. Table 5 is located in the corner by the TV, and whatever patrons do don't by anything from a man calling himself 'Delboy' if he happens to wander into that section of the pub.2


Table 36 : The cabinet room, 10 Downing Street, London, UK 2002 AD

The cabinet room is the room where the cabinet meets to be told by the prime minister what important decisions they are going to make (pointed political comment). Now table thirty six is the table they sit around, so please try not to chip it or spill beer on it as the cleaners have devil of a time as it is keeping our use of it secret from the government as it is. Thankfully, any beermats left behind tend to be put down to John Prescott (Deputy PM) so at least thats one less thing to worry about.

Other Downstairs Rooms

The Snooker Room

Kept in a clever time bubble, the snooker room is the embassy world championships snooker hall at midnight on the day of the 1973 final. This unfortunately means the table only takes shillings and flares are required to be worn at all times.

The Upstairs Rooms

The upstairs room are a collection of offices and meeting places of a variety of H2G2, clubs and associations.

[No rooms woven in yet]

Notes for Patrons

If you have any rooms of your own that you would like woven into the building, please leave a message at the office.

1This is based on the idea used in Neverwhere where the Lady Door's home is an associative house.2A shameless referrence to the BBC comedy series Only Fools and Horses.

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