h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here we are on the first day of race eight and the Smiley's are off - Nanny and Wild Bill Hic-Cup race into the lead... Baaarney is not far behind, but Noddy and Long John Turnip have hardly left the starting line.... for a visual representation of the positions of the moment check out the main racing page A771167

Well folks its over to you... give those Smiley's a big cheer... get them going... you never know... this could be the race where you win big time...

Greebs..xx

Come on, Johnny!
You know, you'll make it!



HP
»--.

Right Baaarney- show them us sheep aren't to be messed with! Move those hooves!!!

*sidles to finish line brandishing a bottle of that Ole Janx Spirt*

"Oh William! Look what I've got for yo-hoo"

Come on Turnip! Go Go Go Go!

There's a bottle of rum in it if you splice the mainbrace and heave ho!

Yes, and plenty of and fame!

* L-J-T --- L-J-T *

HP
»--.

Come On Wild Bill!
If you think Ole Janx Spirt is good, come up here past the finishing line and see this 10 gallon drum of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster just waiting for you Bill...but I'm afraid you won't get even a teaspoonful if you come anything but first...
!COMEONWILDBILL!
!COMEONWILDBILL!
!COMEONWILDBILL!
!COMEONWILDBILL!
!COMEONWILDBILL!

...and the race enters day two...

Me thinks that Wild Bill Hic-Cup is being persuaded to run at top speed by encouragement in the crowd, look at him go... Nanny is a distance behind, trying to catch up... Baaarney is third at the moment with Noddy valiently trying to keep up... Long John Turnip is stuck in first gear... me would say his wooden leg has fallen off.. but me is not sure that he has legs... for a visual representation of the positions of the moment check out the main racing page A771167

You are doing good folks... keep up the shouting and the SMiley you want to win... just might do it for you...

Greebs..xx

Crikey! the blatant bribery's obviously working!


*rushes off to drinks cabinet to see what else is lurking there*


Here Wild Bill, look what's waiting for you!

*sets up trestle table at the finish post and places assorted alcoholic beverages thereon*

*replaces all the , , , , by more , , and *

*places all the , , , , in front of LJT at the finishing line*

GOOOOO! L-J-T - L-J-T!

HP
»--.

*Chants*
GO WILD BILL!
GIVE US A THRILL!
THEN YOU CAN DRINK YOUR FILL!
*gasps for breath*

*waves cheerleader pom-poms in the air*

WATCH OUT FOR THAT HILL!
WE DON'T WANT A SPILL

*does the splits*

*waving the tanker truck of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters to reverse park near the finishing line*

"Yeah, that's good, now, do you have a hose that attaches to this tanker? NO?...oh well, we'll just place a banana chair under this outlet valve...there, perfect!"

COME ON ...SHIPPED IN FRESH FOR YOU!!

GO! GO!
GO! GO!
GO! GO!
GO! GO!

... and into day three we go...

Wild Bill Hic-Cup has the winning line in sight now... or is it the vast array of drinks he is looking at, whatever it is... he's still in the lead... Nanny and Baaarney are fast catching up though... with Noddy close behind... Long John Turnip has finally begun to race... but is it to late??? For a visual representation of the positions of the moment check out the main racing page A771167

The smiley's are in the home staight now... so give them some encouragement...

Greebs..xx

Come on Bill - no time to think!
Look at all this lovely drink...
Your fans have come to help you sink
the booze - we've got Professor Frink
and Ray Davies - the former Kink
And Anne Robinson with her special wink


s off to find more celebreties

Keep going Long John, there's still time, you can do it!

Baaarney! You're so close! Just a last push and you can do it! Just think of all that grass that awaits you... mmm... lush and green, just the ticket...

eL * Jay Teeee *
* eL Jay * Teeee
eL * Jay Teeee *
* eL Jay * Teeee

HP
»--.

Baaaaaaaaarney!
You get extra 'a's!
Please win!

Don't be a !
Be a fast sheep!