h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Even if he beats his mother?

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If a child (a young human who has not yet reached the age of accountability) were to become dangerous, there is reason to restrain him or her and to intervene, but still no call for physical punishment. I speak as a parent, as a sister to a severely autistic child, and as one who has had close contact with children and adults ranging the spectrum of psychological disorders and disabilities for the majority of her life.

i learned what i couldnt get away with when my parents smacked me...i reckon it works, but whipping is a bit intense

I was smacked once in my childhood, it must have been a major occurence for me to remember it.

There are other ways to teach a child right from wrong, my parents often worked on reduced privilages; "if you don't tidy your room, you wont be allowed to go sailing tonight"

You should never punish a child for an accident or for something they didn't know was wrong. Explain how they can stop it happening, "don't put the glass so close to the edge of the table next time and then it wont be so easy to knock off." Or explain why it's wrong, "Daddy's just painted the sitting room and it's very upseting for him to see your dirty handprints all over the clean walls, next time you've been in the garden making mud pies wash your hands when you come in before you go to watch telly."

I may be being arrogant but I'm sure I've grown up with more respect for my parents than many of my friends who were hit as children.

Mel

my parents are extremely cool. and very judicious.

It's nice to hear you say that, I just wish everyone felt that way about their parents.

Mel

How the course of conversatoin can change in 6 days...

It starts off about kissing smokers breath and degrades into disciplining children!

Is there a direct link? I don't like kissing someone who's just finished a cig but I did get smacked as a child. Anyone else?

I don't think there is a link, it's just that h2g2 has the same sort of effect on conversations that one usually finds at 2am when the beers all gone!

Mel

Children who throw fits in public places, scream, carry on, and are rude, need some kind of punishment, and not parents barganing with them. When I was little and I did something that I knew was wrong I expected to get punished, as did my wife. We are not sad that we were spanked, she is sorry she was abused by her aunt, but she loves her parents for chastening her as do I mine.

Proverbs 3:11&12 My son, despise not the chastening of the LORD; neither be weary of his correction:
For whom the LORD loveth he correcteth; even as a father the sone in whom he delighteth.

Even if you dont believe the words of the BIBLE, they can be used as a guide on how to live, as I am sure the Koran and other religious texts, In fact in the Koran it says to love your wives just as in the BIBLE, all those people who abuse and degrade their Women are going agains the teachings of Allah.

Anyway, I believe that first, a stern "NO!" and explaining why they cant do that is good, but if the child does it again, a slap on the hand with a "NO!" will get there attention, once they get older they may do it to bug you, or other people. Then a spanking is appropriate, I remember many spankings, and let me tell you, I deserved every one, now I understand why my parents were so stern. Whenever we went to resturaunts other kids would be unrully

(A man with no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down and without walls.)

We always got compliments from other people, older and younger, families and just singles, "How do you make your children behave",or "My your children are so quiet and polite"

HMM they must have done somthing right... AND just because I believe in Spanking does not mean I believe in BEATING. There is a BIG difference between spankings and Abuse, I think that everyone should be allowed to punish their children how they want to as long as they dont hurt more than a slightly sore rump for about 2 miniutes (which was what my parents did)and a bit of pride for about an hour.

Children respond to stimulus just like any animal. The threat of physical abuse induces fear, and may or may not achieve the desired result. Treating your child with as much respect as you treat your wife (or any other person) induces a feeling of personhood and self-esteem, and may or may not achieve the desired result. There are two curses to the human heart; fear and guilt, and I know where I don't wish my children's moivations to lie. A fearful or guilty person behaves for others, with an unreasonable and unhealthy perspective. A centered person behaves as he sees fits from his more realistic view of his universe. In my opinion, a parent resorting to physical punishment or any other sort of abuse is an indication of laziness and ignorance; laziness to find a more respectful way to approach another human, and ignorance of what sorts of expectations are age-appropriate in the first place.

We are not aminals, Children are people too, and yes, I think abuse is wrong, but a SMALL slap never hurt anyone, all it has to be is a tap, I put emphasis on this because the most comes out in the voice, when you tell them NO and why. In boot camp their punishment was pushups, perhaps I will make my children to 100 pushups every time they mess up...

eh?

How do children behave when there is no-one to smack them? When they are away from their parents (eg on camp) and suddenly there is no-one saying do that and I'll smack you. If they cannot behave without the fear what kind of life can they lead when the fear is taken away?

I for one do not remember making the kind of fuss in the supermarkets that you talk of, I think I wanted my privilages too much.

This is not bribing, otherwise one could say that prison is a bribe.

I was not bribed to do well in my exams, I knew that if I did do well my parents would be pleased and more to the point I knew that if I did badly my mum would be upset because she knew I could do better. The fact that I know she would be upset does not mean that I would see her being upset, emotional blackmail is not one of her strong points.

I truly believe that children thrive on praise. If they do well tell them so, but do not give praise for things not worthy of it as this de-values your praise.

Mel

Why does anyone have to resort to a 'tap' (and yes, people are irreparably by just a 'slap' in the right circumstances)? The lesson learned here is that the person in power is there because he is dominant. The opportunity for meaningful dialogue and growth is effectively lost when a misbehavior is punctuated by a 'slap.'

irreparably _damaged_, even.

I agree with you on this point, violence teaches violence, I personally think we have enough problems on our hands as it is without enforcing the views our children are fed every day.

Mel

i was never actively bribed for exams, but i learned that good results made for good bargaining power

in fact, im getting a holiday to the states paid for if my a level results are decent

That's bribary!

Mel

yes, but only cos i asked for it after i took them...

Still a bit dodgey if you ask me!

What did you take and where are you planning to go next btw?

Mel

english. german. RS. French.

Trinity, Oxford.

philosophy and theology.

AAB (but i had an A in french early so really its AAAB)