h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Is that a really creepy castle ahead?

*hesitates*


I don't think we want to go *that* way...


*stands behind a large tree to look*

Did it just get colder?

Maybe we should go back. *Joins lil behind tree*

What do you think the 'bright spark' will do? </>

*nods at where Inter is standing*

*continues walking towards the castle without looking up, the crackles on his hand ever intensifying. suddenly, inter looks up and draws his gun in an instant, a huge eplosion appears in front of him and he leaps back to where perse and lil are hiding*

ive heard of these before, look! *at the battlements of the castle, enormous, round cannons sit* magical defences, they draw water from the moat and fire it at intruders at a deadly speed, i only survived by blasting the "water bomb" with a point blank thunder shot. i think it's a safe bet ena's inside, dont you think lil? we'll need a cautious strategy

Ena?

In there?

I hope not, she hates getting her paws wet....

*lil frowns at the prospect of having to rescue a wet Ena*

im sure its perfectly dry in the castle...

anyway, the cannons react to movement, no dought de-activated by some kind of badge or crest the occupants of the castle wear to gain entry. the way i see it, our options are

1- destroy the cannons
2- ambush someone on their way in or out and take their possessions
3- look for a secret entrance

now while it's true that most castles have obscured entrances to escape from in the event of a seige, they rarely come out far from the castle and, as you've seen, the cannons have an impressive range, as for option 1, while im confident the cannons wouldn't withstand a maximum power thunder shot, i'd have to recharge for several hours after each one, so i guess that leaves us with option 2! unless anyone has any better ideas?

oh, here's a fourth option,

we blow the door down and, by some miracle, dodge the... *counts* 5 water cannons until we make it inside?

*inter produces a box of bullets, takes one out and starts turning it over in his hands, muttering*

I vote for the secret entrance!

*lil rolls her eyes heavenwards*

Secret entrance please

*continues fiddling, without looking up*

i told you, any entrance will be within range of the cannons! THERE, I DID IT!

*holds up a bullet, little streaks of lightning are crackling along it*

a lightning bomb made out of a bullet! with this i've no dought we can take out at least one of those cannons! .... fine, find an entrance and i'll take out the neares cannon, then we'll make a break for it, sounds like a plan?

*by the time a secret entrance is found, inter had made 3 "blast bullets"*

i'm confident that one of these down the barrel with take out one of those cannons until the maintenance team comes along, but there's a catch. i dont like to admit it but i've got nothing on those cannons when it comes to speed, it will take out on of my bullets before it gets half way there... you get what i'm saying?

*looks at lil*

i need a diversion

blimey! are we leaving ena to rot or something? she got taken in there over 2 weeks ago you know! some friend you are lil!

*glares acusingly*

*lil blushes*


I won't tell you of the places where she's left me to rot in the past! </>


.... Ummm... Yes, well! We don't ACTUALLY know if she's in there, do we?


*lil begins to scrape her boots on the muddy track*

not for sure, but its the nearest significant source of magical power and since you said your friend was taken by gaurds its very likely that she'll be here! now, i believe i requested a diversion?

*sighs and runs across path to another tree, waving arms madly*

Try and get me stupid cannons

oh forget it perese, ena's probably dead by now anyway, come one! let's go and have a whacky adventure of our own

But I'm stuck over here with all the cannons pointed at me!

*sigh" fiiine,

*darts oer to perse and destroys all the cannons and half of the castle with a swish of his gun*

errrrm... you see... i've been charging it up these past months