h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have found that revenge usually misfires whenever I try to orchestrate it myself. In my experience, those who inflict harm upon me in such a way that I would wish harm upon them usually get what they deserve weather I have anything to do with it or not.

For instance, there is the case of my ex boyfriend. The man was evil. And I was just blind enough not to see it for over a year. I just kept pouring more and more of my soul into our relationship without ever really understanding why. I knew he was seeing his ex behind my back, I knew he didn’t love me and he only kept me around for sex, but somehow I was completely powerless against him. The man was a vampire of the worst kind and I got caught in his mangled web with only the best of intentions. I almost ended up having my very soul stolen from me. But of course, just as he was about to ravage the last bit of my will, I came to my senses. It was like waking up from a long sleep only to find myself lying in a room that I did not recognise at all and a massive headache that I could not explain. I did the first thing I could think of. I got rid of him for good. I was very nice about it though, being that I don’t really know how to be any other way. I offered to remain friends, you know, all that jazz. He was heartbroken for some reason, which still puzzles me, but in any case, I began moving on with my life immediately without even beginning to look back. Sure, I thought about trying to get some revenge on the boy, but in the end, I figured he probably wasn’t worth it. I had wasted plenty of time thinking and worrying about him over the past year, and where did it get me? nowhere. I just had to leave it up to fate weather or not he got what he deserved.

About a month later I ran into some of his friends at a party. Turned out less than a week after I sent him packing he got his van broken into outside a gig and all of his musical equipment was stolen. Including the only thing I ever saw him express actual raw affection for the whole time we were together, his GUITAR. Not to mention his CDs, and thousands of dollars worth of amplifiers and synthesizers. Pretty much the only thing he ever lived his life for, music, had been stolen from him. When I heard about this, I had to smile. That was worse than anything I could have ever done to him myself. But it happened. And he deserved it.

For many reasons, I am a firm believer in the system of karma. It makes sense, and it has proven its existence to me more times than any other theoretical concept. I know that it sometimes tends to favour some more than others, but I am sure that this is for a good reason that nobody will ever know. In my experience, I have found that if I am a good person to others pretty much of the time, I get the good stuff back. Whenever I tell a lie to someone, I find that it usually gets very out of hand and turns into quite a difficult situation. So I have learned not to tell lies, and have found that more people are honest with me that way. It really is one of the only things I think I have a handle on about my life. It works on many different levels and almost never fails. If I allow people to get in front of me on the freeway when I am passing an exit, MERGING as so many people around here seem to find a completely foreign idea, it usually happens that in twenty minutes when I am coming back from wherever it was that I went, and I am trying to get back on the freeway, people will let me in front of them as well. These people are no doubt different people than the ones I let in front of me twenty minutes earlier, but for reasons they do not understand, they are letting a small red geo with a perky looking driver get in front of them on the freeway. However, the day that I have a short fuse and start cutting people off like a madwoman is when people don’t let me in when merging and I end up stuck on the shoulder of the highway cursing and panicking, wondering WHY ME?

By this same token, I have found that I have to allow myself to trust that when harm is done to me through no wrong doing of my own, like the situation with the ex boyfriend mentioned above, things will usually take care of themselves without my ever even having to lift a finger or worry about it for a second. Another key is giving others absolutely no reason to be venchful towards me. If I do a person no harm then they usually cannot harm me. But every time something happens to me that I believe to be unjust or unfair, I have to think back to any wrong I may have done to someone else that might put me in line for this kind of treatment. I usually find it pretty fast if it exists, and the idea of revenge is eliminated from my mind. When I don’t, however, find myself deserving of this kind of treatment, a short period of fury does ensue. But much better than trying to think of all the awful things I could do to give this person or people what they deserve for hurting me, is thinking of all the horrid things that could happen to them without my even lifting a finger if I just leave it to the fates.

~*M*~