h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*takes a bottle of out of his satchel and drinks from it*

Strange, it tastes like vodka .

all drink contain vodka sorry about that

No, the is one of my own drinks. I think that Venom's been spiking my drinks again.

*walks out*

*a student, dressed as a typical student walks in*

Axe is very good at costume changes.

All posts are by aformentioned student until noted

So, what do you sell in this, erm..., fine establishment? Got and ?

Oh, and there was a letter outside the door for you. I brought it in:

"Dear Jimmy,
This is a suggestion. Get my name off the Researcher List for this entry.

Now.

I've told you to do so about 100 times (inc. RL).

Axe"

Of course, when DNA 1.01 comes out, I'll be able to take my name off the researcher list myself

*notices that Jimmy has seen the very large shotgun in his coat*

*very quickly moves the detpack in his satchel out of sight, i.e. he slides it across the bar to about 3 feet away from Jimmy*

*teleports in, holding his rifle at the ready, to one of the shady corners of the bar*

You've had three days to get rid of the detpack!

*the student activates a gelsuit as the detpack explodes, taking the alcohol supplies with it*

[loudspeaker] This is an important announcement. All civilians are advised to leave the area immediately as this building has been selected for destruction by the h2g2 Mercenaries. Anyone still in here in 10 seconds will be considered expendible if they're not wearing a gelsuit.

Team, Sniper 1. Assuming tactical command. Mission objectives, capture Jimmy and raid the safe. Be advised, we may shortly be joined by a first-timer (Retox). Show him some sympathy if he breaks LoC! Now, Retox, if you turn up, the safe's near the bar. Hack it. I would but it's a good test .

*Hurriedly puts on his gelsuit and runs after Jimmy*