h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Caryl Chessman - A7140052
Author: John-the-gardener, h2g2 Friends of Tibet (A2170982) - U33262

This one might be a bit too lean. Let me know what you think.

Hey! Well now I know who Caryl Chessman was. (20 minutes ago, I was wasn't even sure of the gender)

As you say, this is a little lean, though fine for its original purpose (the 'Done too Soon' project at A2773866, for those who don't know).

Was Chessman really a significant advocate in the capital punishment debate? If so, to have come to that after starting out as a petty criminal with a perverted streak is an interesting ambivalence. That might be the aspect to develop further if this is to become a stand-alone Entry.

You write a good tale, though. Tidy and balanced. Personally, I'd like to see this one as part of a set in the project it was originally written for.

Pin

Thanks, Pin. From what I've gleaned from my admittedly minimal research, I think Chessman was an advocate of staying alive and the death sentence for robbery with battery (or whatever it's called) is what outraged so many people.

I think it wqas rape or sexual assualt, not robbery. The thing that cooked his goose was that he moved the victim just enough to make a case for kidnap barely possible.

Still low-fat, but now much more filling.

You want proper EG-style crit?

Well, maybe a little too much repetition of darkness and seclusion in early paras, if this is now to be read as a straight piece?
Likewise "It would be hard to overstate the revulsion..." For my delicate sensibilities at least, what follows possibly does overstate it?
Typo-wise, there's a "becasue" just past there too.

But it's

Pin
(I think I might put my two in soon, just to see what happens. They're Guidelines-stretchers, though. I won't do it for a while, 'cos I've an Entry I care about in PR right now that doesn't need prejudicing)

Typo: "Judged by Califonians..."

Thanks both.

Isn't it amazing how you can read a thing a hundred times and keep missing typos?

Two dark-and-secludeds deleted.

I think you've improved the Lindbergh baby bit too

Perhaps you should link to the Entry on that (distressing) tale?
A476796

Thanks for the suggestion, Pin. I'll add the link.

JTG

Stanley 'Tookie' Williams was executed by lethal injection at 12:35am today in San Quentin prison in California. Like Caryl Chessman he had been a long-time resident of San Quentin's death row. And, like Caryl Chessman, he had become a popular author and focal point of the continuing debate over capital punishment. A plea for clemency had been denied by California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. Williams was the 12th person to be executed by the state of California since a death penalty moratorium ended in 1977.

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!

Thanks, echomikeromeo, and to all who helped with encouraging comments.