h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*dax having not understood red dogs instuctions very well and also the fact that she's reading the map he gave her upside has accidently gone to the cat induction center instead of the dog induction cebtre*

*looks on from the rafters, hopefully unnoticed in the shadows*

*walks into the centre of the room, trying to seem helpful*

And what can I do for you?

I've come for my training

Oh...have you read the main page? Then I guess you're pretty trained

*thinks that there seams to be a lot of 's here for the acf*

ACF? sorry, you must be lost- this is the cat induction centre

*apollo half tumbes out from <./>F91524?thread=187901&post=2085063#p2085063</.>*

*SM leaps out after him, clutching a needle and wondering which musty thread she's landed in*

*looks around to find catnip, little fish-shaped treats, and lots of cat beds*

We haven't assimilated this place yet, I take it...

*see's shroom fly out of the cupboard, still clutching the needle*
*tries to lunge back towards the cupboard door, but his legs still don't work* ohhhhh.... this is not good...

*walks through the cupboard door, politely closing it behind him*

Where the hell am I?

*notices the large quantity of cat-related items*

*notices Sgt. flying around the room*

*notices that he's standing on Apollo's toe*

I've always wanted to crush parts of a Borg's anatomy . Would anyone mind if I destroyed Apollo's toe for him?

*upon there being no reply, except from Apollo, Axe turns on his force shield, which promptly starts cutting into Apollo's toe*

*hastily moves the microwave in, and then jumps through himself* SM, after I save you, you're on your own, unfortunately. The Mercenaries signed a *really stupid* defense pact with the borg, and I'm bound to it until I quit the mercs (no chance really). I am, however, allowed to maintain my allegiance to my hotel and staff... so I can save you

*recovers*

Don't worry

*lunges with the needle towards Apollo's neck*

*watches as his toe is slowly removed, thankful that 1) he is a borg, and 2) his legs aren't working any way*

Umm... excuse me sir, but you are damaging my toe. I would hate for that to cost your fellow Mercenaries 75 million credits

*does not notice shroom and the needle*

[LSUIT] Mission cancelled.

Oops...

, sorry about that Apollo...

*turns off the force shield and moves his foot elsewhere*

*sticks the needle into Apollo's neck and injects the de-assimilation drug, then backs off*

OW!!

*the room begins swirling, and 24's circuitry begins to malfunction*

what.. what have you done...?

*brings up his pistol and aims it at SM's head*

SM, I'm sorry but I've been told to protect 'drones and borg assets'. Therefore I'm going to have to ask you to reverse that deassimilation immediately.

*blinks*

I'm sorry, I can't do that

Anyway, I'm sure the queen'l oblige

*carefully gets her whip out from her belt without him realising, then swings her arm round and flicks his gun hand, seeking to disarm him*,

*shrugs*

It was worth a try...

*kneels down beside Apollo and attaches a data-cable to one of his Borg inputs*

Looks like I'll have to do it myself.