h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A683732

Hello - here's an article about what to expect when you're stricken down with the skin infection Cellulitis. It is a companion-piece to an article on the infection itself.

As I understand it, cellulitis is actually a diffuse and especially subcutaneous inflammation of connective tissue, not an infection.

good entry though. I'd like a bit more at the end about after care, further recovery, does it reoccur, can you avoid getting it, is it contageous,.........or is this in the other entry? better nip off and read that one first,

FABT

Hi there PW!

I've got rather mixed feelings about this one. I'm not sure if it's fish or fowl.

Most of this piece is written in the third person, but some isn't. Part of is is generalised and part of it is particularised.

I think there is a type of entry 'A Researcher's experience of ...' where you would be allowed to write in the first person. That may be the answer. Having read (admittedly only a small amount) other stuff on the net, I'm not certain how typical your case is.

If you want to tell your own story, you will need to make some changes. If you want it to use it to alert people to what they might face in general if they catch it, you will need to make some different changes.

I'd be interested to hear what other Researchers feel about this.

I agree with Zarquon on this - it either needs to be more personal, or more impersonal. With the information that you have here, you could easily assemble an informative medical article. But it looks to me as if your objective was for the reader to understand how painful this condition is, which means you'd be better off writing it in the first person.

I like the information that you have here. The presentation is the only hurdle; I hope that you're willing to stick with it.

- Lentilla

Yep - will have an amend when I get a spare 5 minutes...

Just let us know when you do


Dancer

* puts his finger away from the trigger *

Just post when you've made the amendments. We can't recommend this until you do!

Hello all!!

I've been away, found five minutes like I said, then found a whole bunch more five minutes's, and gone first person on the article. It's now an account of what happened to me when I did get the disease. Let me know what you think...

Found only minor quibbles there:

Spend the night -> spent
'cot' -- could be you mean 'caught' here

'Die Hard' should be put into italics or wrapped in apostrophes.

The explanation for 'A and E' should go in when you first mention it.

You're swapping back and forth between past and present tense which reads somewhat weird. Please choose one and stick to it.



All in all: a very moving account, and definetely bound to go into the guide under the 'personal experiences' section!

Die Hard - italicced (or whatever the verb is).
Spend has been spent.
Cot - I think I mean cot. Depends where you found it!
A and E - explained.
Tenses - will need to check later.....

Tenses - checked and brought into line...

Hi, Polidari Wormwood!

I think this entry, in its present 'personal experience' form, is very good.

When you first start talking about going to the hospital, I think you should mention where you are. Since the Guide has an international readership, people's expectations of A and E departments may be very different. Something fairly general, on the lines of 'Here in south-west England..' or 'Here in the London suburbs...' would set the scene.

I think I spotted a few typos: in the first paragraph and later, shouldn't 'vomitting' be 'vomiting'?
In the second paragraph, 'symptons' should be 'symptoms'.
in the 10th(?) paragraph, I think the word 'exasperated' should be 'exacerbated'.


azara

Amended (though I'm not sure I got all the 'vomitting' though!).

, Polidari Wormwood!

I see that this entry has now been recommended and is on its way to a sub-Editor, so I'm not sure if the sub-Ed will have got those last few changes - you can check later, when the sub-Ed has been working on their copy.

Anyway, congratulations! is in order!


Azara

Indeed, it's time and Azara already told the essential part

Thanks all

Once more into the breach dear friends....