h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A679241

Hmm. I'm not so sure about this entry.

First off, all of the links to other places within the entry probably ought to go. It's not that long an entry, and all the links are fabulously confusing.

Also, know that your footnotes will probably either be deleted or put in brackets inside the entry.

The title also probably ought not have the "My Hometown" part to it.

However, I'm not sure people will go for this entry at all. It is *very* specific, and seems to be about a pretty small town. In other words, this entry may not really be relevant to many people. Who knows though, I could be wrong.

Also, this entry ought to be written in third person (http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/Writing-Guidelines).

As with anything, feel free to ignore me.

I disagree. I love the fact that it is so small. We have a Goshen out here in California, near Visalia, where my Grandmother used to live, but that was huge compared to your Goshen. Also, I like the "My Hometown" part of the title. Dunno why, but I guess it's because it makes me think you know more about it than some hack from the encyclopiedia company. One thing though, the word Goshen is in lower case in the paragraph "North of the Intersection." I was born and raised in Los Angeles, California, and live here still. The rest of the world knows waaaaaaay too much about my hometown. Time for the rest of you to start pulling your weight. Also, I want people to stop comming here and driving the housing prices up. From now on, everybody go to Goshen.

thank you both for the suggestions. i will get rid of the links, they irritated me anyway putting them in. i like the idea of no-one knowing about goshen, it is the type of thing that the guide can offer and no-one can find it anywhere else. the things that they say they are looking for also says that they want this type of entry.

Hi, Galen!

I think that before you do anything more with this entry, you should think a little about the people who may want to read it. If someone is going to Goshen and wants directions around it, your entry would be very useful. However, most people reading the Guide will never get to Goshen, and what they would want to know is some more general information, and about what makes Goshen interesting compared to other small towns.

As an example, have a look at the entry on Cocodrie in Louisiana, at
http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A593750

That is a much smaller place than Goshen, but the author has made it sound interesting by concentrating on what is special about that coastline, and on the various things to do.

Here are some of the things I would like to know about in an entry like this: How big is the town, in size and population? How old is the town? Are there any historic buildings, and if so, what style are they in? What is the surrounding countryside like? Do you get any tourists or visitors, and if so, what is there for them to do? Are there any distinctive local landmarks or customs or products?

I think you should cut back on the specific 'there are 3 houses on the left and 2 on the right' kind of descriptions and try and see the town as a visitor might see it.

Azara

thank you azara, it is very insightful and i see my folly of trying to write an entry the way i did. the pointers you gave me are very good and i see that i must begin anew in a different style.
thank you

Hmmm. The only thing is that the way it was written is exactly the way the HitchHikers Guide to the Galaxy was used in the book. Ford would be dropped off somewhere and he'd pull out the HHG and get some info. If he were dropped off in in Goshen some dark Tuesday night, the entry as originally written would be perfect. I think it's a darn shame when researchers are asked to "please do it like the encyclopedia, the way everybody else here does" and not the way DNA did. I think I'm gonna panic now.

Hi, Galen!

I'm glad you found those pointers helpful. I hope that considering some of them will give the entry more of a feel for the 'personality' of your hometown as opposed to the appearance.

Thank you for taking the suggestions so kindly. Please come back to this thread and tell us if you make any changes as a result. I'll certainly be very interested to see any new version you produce.

Best wishes and good luck!
Azara

ahhhh!!!

you are panicing?

i have just had my page told to have it done completely different, the same, not to do it at all!!!!

what the hayll!!

i am definitely panicing!

Don't panic, Galen!

In the end, it's up to the Scouts to pick entries from here for the Edited Guide. I'm not a Scout myself, but I do spend a lot of time here on Peer Review. I have commented on a very large number of entries that have been chosen, and seen some that have sunk down through the list without ever being picked. I honestly think that your entry as it stands doesn't really match the guidelines, and that you would improve your chances by giving more of a feel for what the town is like for visitors, or to live in.

But at the end of the day, it's your entry, so maybe your best bet would be to wait a bit longer, and see what other reviewers think. With the new format Peer Review coming in tomorrow, you may get lots of comments then.

Anyway, good luck with it!
Azara

Aaiii! I guess I was wrong! Forgive me, oh mighty Galen.

Maria: Don't get me wrong. I really hate how un-guide-like alot of guide entries are. I was just trying to say that a) This is a little to specific and b) the scouts just might not go for it.

*forgives strider*
i must stop procrastinating and get rid of all those muddling links
i will do it tommorow!
i think i actually may

Well Galen, if you want to be a SHEEP, then by all means, pull the wool over your eyes and join the herd. I, for one, am no lemming, I am not particularly thrilled with some of my "peers," and like what I said I like. I would not assume the scouts will reject something because someone tells me they think they will. Heck, what the worse that would happen if they did? You could still change it. Also, it's not as if this place isn't crawling with Scouts eager to answer any questions you have for them. If you want to know what a Scout thinks, then ask a Scout!

Oh, and I'm not mad at you Strider.

Oh good!

Galen, this looks alot better without those links.

BTW, your last header is uncomfortably close to the text surounding it. Amending that would make the layout work out all nicely and look neat and pretty.

Also, the subs will deal with it if you don't change it, but if you just ran all this through a grammer/spell check on your word processor it might make their job a little easier.

Hi Galen!

I have to agree with Strider and Azara that this does not look at the moment like an entry that is going to make the Edited guide in its current form.

However, before you become discouraged, I'd take it as a compliment that Azara is making comments. She was very helpful to me with one of my first entries and I really value her comments.

There are some good helpful suggestions here by everyone who has commented which will help you reshape your entry. Do take 'My hometown' out of the title as well.

I'm sure you can produce a really interesting entry if you do!

i am very happy it looks better without the links
i will run it through the spell check and then i will finish the directions
maybe change the title also?

Hi Galen,

You will need to be more radical with your changes in the entry. Look through the previous comments again and at the example that Azara gave you.

Let us know when you have finished the amendments!

NOOOOOO! Galen DON'T take the "My Hometown" out of the title before you submit it!!! If for no other reason then on principal!! I know you want it to be an almighty edited entry but let the sheep revolt already !! They can't if you capitulate before you even stand before the grand poobahs on the advice of a peeon! NOOO! It would be so terribly wrong, and UNAMERICAN of you. WE ARE AMERICANS, our ancestors crossed the ocean to get away from people who go along to get along. For me, for your hometown, for AMERICA, leave the title as is unless and until someone tells you that you HAVE to, not that you should, and then you can fold with my blessings.

Entries have to conform to the guidelines if Researchers would like them to be edited.

The title isn't the major problem. In all likelihood, if Galen was unwilling to change the title and it were to be recommended, the title would in all likelihood be changed by a Sub.

I don't wish to go over ground that has already been covered about the entry, so I won't.