It is 6am on Saturday 24th April 2010. I am sitting in Butler's Chocolate Café in Dublin Airport, waiting for Zendevil, a person I have never met. We're on our way to Mannheim in Germany for a h2g2 Meet. As I drink my first black coffee of the day, I look forward to the two-day trip - meeting old friends, some who I have met in person and some who are complete strangers physically, although I've spoken to them many times on h2g2. And there will be some who I've not encountered on the site before, but may become friends later. I hope that Zendevil will recognise me by the large h2g2 logo on my T-shirt, courtesy of a caption competition I won a few years back. Wait a minute.. there's someone in a wheelchair, waving frantically. Ah, that must be Zendevil!

Zendevil can't walk very well, due to a dodgy leg. She thought it prudent to order a wheelchair. Possession of one of these offers certain advantages: we were allowed first onto the plane, a privilege much sought-after for reasons I've never been able to understand, considering that everybody has their seat determined in advance. The downside was that we had to get off last. The flight was pleasant enough, lasting about 2 hours. At Frankfurt Airport, a bus brought us to the terminal gate, where there was a wheelchair waiting for us... at the top of a very long escalator. There was no lift and no way of getting up other than the escalator. Getting on and off these is a bit of a challenge if you're only barely able to walk, but we managed it and Zendevil was able to sit down again. The wheelchair allowed us to skip to the top of the queue at passport control, and we were soon at the exit, where we had to return the wheelchair.

Here we were met by Researchers Bel and MMF - Bel lives in Frankfurt, while MMF had come over the previous evening from London. We now had to find the fifth member of our group, Wand'rin Star, who we located fairly quickly. Frankfurt Airport is about 25 minutes by train from Mannheim, but first we had to buy tickets - here we relied on Bel, who being German could speak to the ticket man. He was somewhat confused because although we were all travelling together, we weren't all coming back at the same times, requiring three different types of ticket. The train was an Intercontinental Express, very fast, smooth and quiet. Arriving in Mannheim Station, we were met by Sho and MrTC (the husband of Trillian's Child's, not a h2g2 Researcher, but good-naturedly helping out for the day). I hadn't met Sho before although I've spoken to her many times on line - it was quite a pleasure. We were quickly guided out of the station and down the main street to a nearby vegetarian restaurant, where we met with Trillian's Child and Stunningfrenchie, who were keeping a few tables in a pleasant courtyard for us. With just about everybody assembled, the meet had finally begun.

h2g2 Meets are not about doing things - they are about meeting people. It was great to sit down in the sun, have a drink and talk to these people I know so well but rarely meet. The only person present I didn't really know was Stunningfrenchie. Believe it or not, she's from France, and had come quite a distance by train to meet us all. She didn't say a lot, but appeared to be quite content to sit and soak it all in - or perhaps she just couldn't get a word in edgeways, because quite a few of us are known for talking quite a lot. Zendevil had brought a teddy taking the place of her partner who couldn't come because he has a small farm and the sheep are busy lambing at the moment. I had Badger Badger, the badger - he's been to quite a few Meets, although he appears to have absented himself from all my photos. MMF presented everybody with presents - a teatowel each, so we'd all know where our towels were. Since it was the day after my birthday, the Researchers presented me with a birthday card, the first one in German I've ever received, and Wand'rin Star gave me a lovely teacup with lid which she'd brought all the way from Hong Kong, as well as a strange compass-like thing which she says is a Feng Shui calculator. More research needed.

The sun shone down and we ate our lunch and drank our drinks - mainly good old German apple juice and such like. It was stunning weather - a cloudless sky and temperatures in the mid 20's. I turned steadily pinker as the day progressed, as being Irish I'm not used to the sun although I don't mind the heat.

After lunch, we all went to our nearby hotels and checked in. Then we walked to Schloss Mannheim, which is translated as Mannheim Palace. It's not a fortified building, but an enormous baroque mansion - it is one of the biggest baroque palaces in Europe. Zendevil was tired from the walk so she found a shady spot to sit while we went on the tour of the building. The Palace was the home of the Elector Palatinate, a sort of important local prince, and later of the Grand Duke of Baden. Most of the palace is now occupied by Mannheim University, but one section, the Belle Étage with about 20 enormous rooms, is done up in the original style, with as much of the original furnishings and wall hangings as possible. We were equipped with audio devices which would describe each room to us at the touch of a button, and give as much detail as anybody could ask for. The tour took until almost 5pm.

On leaving the Palace, we met up with the final member of the Meet, toybox, who had come from France on his way home to northern Germany. But as we gained one, we lost one - MrTC had to leave at this stage. Picking up Zendevil, we proceeded into Central Mannheim in search of ice cream.

If you give an order to a group of children, some of them will do as they're told and some will do nothing. Adults are different - some will think up a better idea than the one you've suggested and decide to do this instead. Trillian's Child was the organiser of our group, having sussed out all the sights of Mannheim in advance, but she had a difficult time getting us to move. Shifting a group of h2g2 Researchers is like trying to herd cats. We proceeded slowly along the main central street of the city, stopping to go into shops, wandering off down side streets, getting lost and so on. Along the way we came to a central square with a giant ornate baroque fountain which provided an opportunity for photos. Zendevil, in her direct way, just marched up to a passing youth, pressed a camera into his hand and told him to photograph us.

From the central square it was only a short stroll to a very nice ice cream parlour - there weren't enough seats on the pavement outside, so we went indoors. I was introduced to the German delicacy called Spaghetti Eis - this is ice cream designed to look as much as possible like spaghetti with tomato sauce - the ice cream is pushed through a potato ricer, and the 'tomato' is strawberry. Apparently Spaghetti Eis is available all over Germany, but this particular parlour claims to have invented it. During our stay in the ice cream parlour, Sho attempted to contact the other h2g2 Meet, which was taking place in Belfast, but even her super Korean phone wasn't up to the communication difficulties of live video across the German phone network to Ireland. We left them a voice mail and moved on.

After ice cream we continued our strolls and reached the Mannheim Wasserturm, a giant decorative water tower, with a beautiful park around it. There was a lake with fountains, there were ornamental lamps, beds of tulips and pansies and lots of people enjoying the sun. Then it was time for some coffee in a nearby well-known American coffee establishment.

It now being at least an hour since we had eaten, we felt it was getting towards time for some dinner. Trillian's Child had found a nice tapas restaurant where we could all sit indoors - now that it was getting dark there was a slight chill in the air, and we indulged ourselves with food and and lots of beer. I can't remember all the things we talked about. I do remember Zendevil analysing our psychologies by means of a picture of a house with a path up to the front door. Bel explained to me all the problems she'd been having with her computer - basically because the fan wasn't connected so it was overheating. And I remember Sho talking - it's hard to miss Sho talking, as she does it so well. She's a fount of knowledge on just about every topic.

Eventually it was time for Bel and MMF, who were returning to Frankfurt, to go and catch their train. After hugs all round, they left, but that wasn't the end of the night. The revelry continued into the early hours and I think it was about 1:30 before I got back to my hotel.

Sunday morning was a much quieter affair than the previous evening. I thought we had arranged to breakfast at 8, when it was in fact 9, so I had a long and peaceful breakfast before Sho and Wand'rin Star showed up. We checked out, then located Stunningfrenchie, who was staying in a different hotel. toybox had already headed off back home to northern Germany. We then attempted to crack the code of the Mannheim tram system. We only wanted to go five stops on the tram, but the automatic machine kept asking us things like "Enter the tariff code number" and "Which zone?". After hurried phonecalls to Trillian's Child, who is slightly more familiar with Mannheim than the rest of us, the four intrepid travellers boarded a German tram, and were soon deposited at the Luisenpark, a huge park near the centre of the city.

The Luisenpark charges admission (€5 per head), but perhaps because of this, they can afford to have a lot of things to do and see in the park - there were huge displays of flowers, a small zoo with exotic birds and some giant Galapagos tortoises, as well as some guinea pigs. There are nesting sites for wild storks, and quite a few storks were in residence. There were picnic areas, with tables and a ready-lit barbecue, a petting farm and a Chinese garden. And we only saw about half the park!

We found a pleasant shady spot to sit on the grass under some trees, then relaxed until Trillian's Child and Zendevil arrived. Trillian's Child had very kindly made lots and lots of sandwiches for a picnic lunch. These were no ordinary sandwiches - none of your boiled egg, ham and cheddar for this lady. We had provolone, leberwurst, mortadella and a whole range of exotic sandwich-filling ingredients. There were so many that when we were all full, she insisted on us taking a few for later in the day.

Even at this stage with only six Researchers, there was still an element of cat-herding to the proceedings. Sho had to leave earlier than the rest of us, but she didn't want to go, and we didn't want her to go. Various people suggested directions in which we should be proceeding, which nobody else heeded. The group wandered somewhat aimlessly until eventually, just outside the pigsty, Sho bit the bullet and said goodbye to us all.

We reckoned we had still time to see the Chinese Garden, so we strolled to there and Wand'rin Star treated us all to some delicious green China tea. We were instructed to pour on some water, put on the lid, wait a minute, repeat, and then drink. It was delicious, and the cup could be refilled a few times before the tea-leaves lost their flavour.

Then it was time for everybody to be making tracks, back to the tram, collecting suitcases from the hotels and finding trains. Trillian's Child averted another crisis when one Researcher who was heading on by train to meet someone else discovered they didn't have the address - after several phone calls in German, TC produced the address and we could proceed. My journey home started with Wand'rin Star on the train as far as the airport, then we went to different terminals and I was on my own from there on. I was home by 10 o'clock.

Huge thank yous are in order to Trillian's Child, who organised the meet. She checked out all the hotels, found out the times of trains, found suitable things for us to do during the day and restaurants to eat in, and who kept everything moving, translating from German for those whose language skills extend as far as 'Jawohl'. And Bel also deserves thanks for navigating us from the Airport to Mannheim, helping us to buy the tickets and translating signs such as 'Smoking is forbidden'.

Everybody deserves thanks for turning up and ensuring that there was great conversation and great fun. It's spirit like this that helps h2g2 remain the friendly place that it undoubtedly is. Now I'm looking forward to the next Meet.

There are some photos of the meet at my flickr page.

The h2g2 Meets Archive

Gnomon

03.05.10 Front Page

Back Issue Page