h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sorry I'm late... Was bombarded from all sides there for a minute. M's trying to learn FrontPage2000, and asks ten questions every two minutes, and I was also on ICQ with the most talkative person in living history...

Wow, the most talkative person in living history? I've known some pretty talkative people, so that must be very talkative, indeed.

He cheats, too, writes down long speeches about things he wants to talk about and copy & cuts it into the ICQ in pieces. It's impossible to get in a word edgewise sometimes, because he shoots off the bits one after the other, often ten at a time...

Oh, a cheater, eh? Well, winners never cheat and cheaters never win...Except on those occasions where people don't know or can't prove that the winner is cheating, but...Never mind.

I'm now imagining a person who cuts and pastes long speeches and thus has the exact same conversation with thirty different people.

He'd printed one of the speeches in a fanzine once, and another friend scolded him for it. "Hey, that's *exactly* what you told me on OCQ the other day! Not nice!"

Well, at least he copies and pastes his own material, I guess.

Oh, yes, all original. He wouldn't dream of nicking anything from anyone. *He* is an original himself! He just invited himself to my wedding, in case I was planning one. He said I must have it somewhere in Italy, and it had to be in May. I was allowed to chose year myself. Generous of him!

Oh, yes. Very generous. And he seems to have allowed you to have it anywhere in Italy you want.

I'm sure he'd have suggested Greece if he could be sure I could afford it. He's half Greek himself, and very proud of it.

Oh, well I suppose that was pretty considerate, then.

He got drunk, borrowed a bicycle, fell off it, and broke his pinky last night!

It could be hard to type with a broken pinky. He might have to increase his copy and pasting.

He's a book editor and translator, so I guess he'll have to take some time off work... He got very suprised when I advised him to do the obvious (put an ice-pack around it). "What? Oh! Yeah! Good idea! Right! Why didn't I think of that!" Hehehe!

Ah, the ing obvious. Nobody notices it.

What was that?

Well, you told him to do the obvious thing and put ice on his injury. But nobody spots the ing obvious. It's part of the thing about the ing obvious. Like catflaps and mill- edged coins.

Yes, well...Maybe...But there's a computer in front of me...And it's pretty obvious...In fact, one might go so far as to call it ing obvious, yet I am now, as I type, noticing it. How does that fit into your theory?

Ah, yes, but it's not a ing obvious idea, is it? It's just a sensory perception.

Hm...Okay...Maybe...But certainly typing on the keyboard must be an idea, and that has, apparently, occurred to me.

Ah, but you learnt that. The person who made the first keyboard- a load of letters you can press- now that was a ing obvious idea.