Melbourne Meet 2001
Created | Updated Feb 24, 2003
Posted Oct 16, 2001 by silverygibbon
Looney, to find Young and Jackson's (Y&J's), go to the world famous Flinders St Station.
Stand on the front steps under the clocks.
Look across the road.
No, not at the concrete horror - left a bit.
Left a bit more from the cathedral.
See the pub directly across the road from the station?
So how, exactly, did LÒÒnytunes get lost, turning a 10 minute stroll into an hour long trek through the wilds of Inner Melbourne? Just how do you ask a stranger in a pub if they're loony? Why were the barstaff threatening us with chairs at the end of the night? And what, when you get right down to it, were 3 sheep and 4 frogs doing there? Some of the answers to these important questions may well be answered below. If you're good and eat up all of your veggies.
The night started fairly inauspiciously, with two groups of two people sitting at very nearly adjacent tables a good half an hour after the agreed meeting time of 7pm. One of these groups finally came to the consensus that yes, one of the people in the other group was very possibly LÒÒny, at which point the discussion turned to who would approach the other table. It was eventually established between the two that Cafram would ask the dreaded 'Excuse me, but are you loony?' question, King Cthulhu successfully employing the 'You're closer' argument. Thereupon did the two gentlemen, rapidly established as EvilRoy and LÒÒnytunes turn around and found themselves to be in the presence of an impoverished uni student and a benevolent King. A message had earlier been received that silverygibbon would at the best be late, and as it transpired was sadly quite unable to make it at all. LÒÒnys two companions did not make the trip, and so it was left to the three intrepid Melbournians and one Kiwi to make the most of the night.
Tables rearranged, and a seat left for absent friends, the serious business of the night was about to begin - drinking. It should be noted that this was a duty that was taken seriously, and wasn't interrupted for pub quizzes, silly games, speeches or any other such thing. Talking, drinking, taking photos and arranging frogs was all we had time for. It is not well known 1 that the correct arrangement of small plastic frogs is an essential part of any social gathering of Aussies. Once the frogs were properly appeased, and drinks provided for everyone (including the frogs) the chatting began in earnest. Wide ranging were the topics, and included h2g2, sport, bagging LÒÒnys accent, sport, bagging LÒÒnys navigation methods, sport, h2g2, and bagging Kiwis in general with specific reference to LÒÒny.
In addition to the frogs, the meet was overseen by a slutty sheep, wonderfully drawn from several angles by Cafram. As the night wore on and the view got hazy, was it simply imagination that LÒÒny was looking at the drawings with a slightly wistful look in his eye? Probably, probably. Sadly however LÒÒny had to leave early, in order to make it back to his hotel sometime before dawn. Despite the fact that LÒÒnys hotel was no more than a comfortable stroll around the corner from the pub, he nevertheless managed to somehow walk past the puke-coloured Flinders Street Station, and get so far out of his way that it cost a $9 taxi ride to get him back to where we were. Naturally, any time during the night when a location was discussed, extra time would be devoted to speculating by what route LÒÒny would get there (Melbourne to Sydney via Perth for example, a detour of several thousand kilometres).
After his departure, the remaining triumvirate of Cafram, Sir EvilRoy and King Cthulhu devoted themselves to seeing the night out. The streams of people outside the windows were scarcely noticed, even when they contained 6 police officers wrestling with a patron immediately outside the establishment. Drinks were consumed with reckless abandon, and even the impoverished uni student found her drinks replaced with nary a question asked. Intelligent conversation soon disappeared with the continued consumption of alcohol replaced by such topics as h2g2, the running tally of sport conversations being kept by Cafram, diving, climbing, the question of whether these counted as sports, Monty Python quotes, silly photos, h2g2, Monty Python quotes and a few more silly photos. The high point of these photos were those taken with Sir EvilRoys digital camera, which provided for instant nostalgia. These included three photos taken of each remaining researcher demonstrating the 'What the...?!' smiley, a petition coming to a smiley page near you soon.
Indeed, events inside were ignored except where they impinged directly upon the merriment at the h2g2 table. An attempt at a fresh round of drinks was refused for the reason that the bell for last drinks had sounded several minutes earlier, while the staff piling chairs upon tables around the three, turning the lights off and on and generally hanging around with stern looks on their faces finally communicated that possibly the establishment was attempting to cease trading for the evening. The laughter at the table even attracted a passing wandering stranger (known only as 'the Visitor'), who came to attempt to join in the excitement, and marvel at the fact that one of the three was wearing a crown. The stranger was suffered to leave upon submitting to having her photo taken and promising to visit some strange 'h2g2 place'. Soon afterwards a member of the barstaff advancing upon the three revellers, chair raised seemed to be the final signal that really, if the three would care to leave shortly, then it would be appreciated. Sir EvilRoy confidently announced that the last train was leaving in five minutes, and so he and the King departed towards the famous Flinders Street Station whilst Cafram went in search of the last tram.
All three ended up having to get taxis home, the last public transport having long since departed for its own bed.
So that was the meet that was, the small numbers in no way restricting the amount of enjoyment to be had in the meeting of like-minded people with fantastic senses of humour. So anyone who has an opportunity to get to a meet, anywhere in the world - get there! If you ever come to Australia, give us a holler and we'll be happy to join you for a drink or six. And anyone, anywhere in Australia, who can make it to Melbourne on the 27th of December for the National meet, leave a message at the Australian and NZ researchers page, we'd love to see you there!
Cafram and King Cthulhu of Balwyniti
For those interested here are More Incriminating Pictures
