25 things you shouldn't do when drunk
Created | Updated Nov 7, 2005
25 or more things not to do when drunk
This started life as
Acohol Survivial Guide (101 things not to do when drunk)
By Genetic Cucumber Mutant U171071
GCM stayed for a month so he didn't get round to finishing the entry. If you have any more to add, then please let me know and I will add them in.
1. Propose to girls who you fancy but hate you.
2. Wake up the next day and pee in the sink.
3. Spend £30 quid on a night out and realise the next day that you only drunk 2 pints... and then wonder how much the extra value meal cost you.
4. Run in front of taxis.
5. Start thinking about why your love life is **** - it will only depress you further.
6. Send text messages to people.
7. Get home and decide to phone relitives / friends / local council to leave obscene message complaining over bills.
8. Arrieve back home and decide to (A). drag out the crate of wine you are supposed to be saving for important occasions/for when its trippled in value and (B). drink £150 of it!
9. Attempt to swin, in the North sea, in December, without even having a swiming costume.
10. Drink immense quantities of coffee so as to be very hyper but also have crummy reflexes.
11. Just being drunk, when it is night before final exams, or important job interview.
12. Attempt to make up with partner for an arguement, or anything.
13. TRY to cook Chinese or Curry for everyone from pub, who you have invited back for the meal.
14.Get so drunk that you forget where you live; walk home to that place you think you live @ 3am; insult some woman becuase she is living in your house; get stopped by passing patrol car for disturbing the peace; apologise profusely to woman for annoying her (and scaring her); get life home with nice policeman, all 2 miles back to your actual house. (TRUE STORY - mates experience).
15. Go to mates house (my house!) in foreign place. Say "I am going to cashpoint" on leaving club @ 2am; walk wrong way to cashpoint depsite warnings; forget you are meant to meet friends; have friends report you as lost due to long time absence; wake up next day in friend's house with friends; claim that a beautiful woman gave you a lift back to friend's house in her car and that you nearly pulled her (despite not knowing where mate's house was...); discern the next day that 'beautiful woman' was actually female constable; cry. (TRUE STORY - mates experience).
16. (Following on from last comment[s]; another real thing); Wake up in train station, not knowing what train station it is, to eventually find you are over 80 miles from home, and then after eight years never find out what happened on that night, or where the hat I had obtained came from.
17. Approach a girl whose name you think you know in a club while completely pie-eyed and when it comes to getting her number having to ask for her real name after guessing it wrong twice.
18. Get very lucky and get taken back to a very attractive lady's house. Hopping in the sack and passing out straight away, then in the middle of the night you bladder forgets to wake you when it needs to go and you just wet your latest lady's bed.
19. Decide to jump down a set of stairs to "show-off" and end up spraining ankle/breaking leg.
20. Don't try to slice cucumbers for a late salad. Especially if you don't like the tip from a finger in it (real experience).
21. Fall asleep in a lightly coloured, expensive living room and wake up to throw up on the floor, on the wall, and on the white leather sofa. Trouble is guaranteed.
22. Eat a kebab from a van that looks only just safe enough to cook dog food in. It might taste great at the time, but most mere mortals (sober ones anyway) would keel over after one sniff !!
23. Propose to your ex by SMS, and get beaten up by her new boyfriend the following day.
24. Juggle knives (inadvisable when sober, never mind.
25 Decide to clean your hard drive and delete your PhD thesis in its almost complete state which has no back up copy.
Contributions by
2legs:Nighthoover apreciator;Questioner:Scapegoat;Minister of red;Professor of Titleology;ASL Agent#42;Frog Person;Queen fan;Duk
Croz (Scout) Slow learner of the ancient art of time management
Jay Native
Bossel, moved to Bosselhiti now
Wayfarer [Scout] -MadForumArtist, Keeper of bad puns, Greeblet with Goo beret, & Sometimes Distributer of Randomness
