The SMEGging of Glasgow
Created | Updated Feb 24, 2003
On Friday, 23rd of November 2001 (incidentally the thirty eighth anniversary of the first episode of Dr. Who) I flew up to Glasgow to attend SMEG, the Scottish xMas Extravaganza in Glasgow, or something.
Sadly absolutely nothing interesting happened at all on my trip up so I am forced to skip straight on to my arrival. I did not get into my hotel until eleven at night and so, after a quick marvel at the
Cyberman production pod of a shower I crashed out. This had the
unfortunate side effect of seeing me awake and raring to go not long
after eight o'clock in the morning, so I was forced to spend time in
both the local internet café and the local science fiction bookshop.
And a finely bound tome of Bored of the Rings did I find.
Any old shoes, having surfed and shopped I decided to head to the
rendezvous pub for lunch. Arriving at midday (or possibly just before)
I found, to my dismay, that the pub was shut! What, were we to have no
meeting place? Was I to stand outside collecting lost souls all
afternoon? Stuff that, I went to a different pub, across George
Square, for lunch instead. Finishing lunch I returned just before one
to, oh joy of joys, find the pub newly opened. So I piled in, got a
pint and awaited the hordes.
At approximately five past one Jamie arrived, hungover and looking for breakfast. Over the next hour a girl called Ben, W*****e, Wumbeevil and a very iffy looking Doctor Gonzo arrived, vainly insisting I call him by his real name, which I can't remember for toffee. We sat around, lightly discussed the Onion, Doctor Gonzo's allergies, Jamie's beard and the iffy stains of Wumbeevil's sheep. This passed a pleasant few hours until, just before three we finally caved and phoned Babel-17 to find out where everyone had gone. To our delight it turned out that we were in fact not on some sick wild goose chase, it was just that everyone was at the hotel fighting with check in. So, we agreed to meet Babel at the Laserquest and myself, Jamie, Doctor Gonzo and Wumbeevil piled down to then spend twenty minutes surrounded by screaming kids.
Eventually the rest turned up and there was much greeting and shaking of hands etc. while Babel fought with the staff, attempting to explain away our lateness. Unfortunately we were too late and so only got one half hour game. During this we all scrabbled around behind flimsy wood partitions while Lost in Scotland strode through the arena, dispatching players all around with an evil laugh and generally looking like Judge Dredd on his day off. Lost eventually won the game by over twice the number of points gathered by the second placed Jamie, while all other scores will not be mentioned here, to save embarrassment.
Leaving Laserquest we split into two groups, one led by Jamie and
Wumbe returned to the pub while the rest of us went to the hotel for a
quick wash in the Cyberman pods. Eventually getting back to the pub I discovered Demon Drawer and Fashion Cat sadly leaving, agcBen and W****e in the far corner and an inflatable pig in amongst a pile of very odd looking sheep.
We then proceeded to drink and everything became a bit hazy. The
laminate proxy of Amy Pawloski was foully vandalised by the Evil Wumbe, Lost
in Scotland started forcing people to drink Vodka and Red Bull, my hat
was passed round every head in the pub (and if any of you have head
lice I will come after you!), Peregrin and Tinkerbell disappeared, to
reappear later with a balloon Eeyore, Joanna produced a scary blue
glowing sphere and I was accused of being the responsible adult for
the party!
After rather a lot of this silliness Pastey arrived, having just
driven down to Heathrow and then up to Glasgow, silly boy. However he
did bring both his wife and Fragilis. More booze was consumed, the far
corner started doing mouthwash shots (as far as I could tell, they
were blue), there was a spate of pole dancing, Amy P. began to
multiply disturbingly (I'm sure I saw three) and the photos started to
go out of focus. And then Pastey produced his laptop and stole all my
photos.
And then, all too soon the pub was shutting, and we were turfed out on to Glasgow's mean streets. So, back to the hotel we went, where we were most annoyed to discover the bar was shut. We had to go to bed. Many plans for breakfast were made and then everyone went to bed, Doctor Gonzo with the inflatable pig and Vogon Poet with Amy's
laminate proxy.
I staggered down to breakfast about ten, where we all sat about and
giggled over the photos, before a few more 'aftermath' shots were
taken. And then it was time for me to go to the airport and back down
south. It was another brilliant Scottish meet up, and my hat (once I
had got it back from its peregrinations) goes off to Babel 17 for
arranging it all. I can't wait for the next one.
More incriminating photographs are available Here
