h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I recently had an epiphany. This is the true story of why I returned to h2g2.

It was not long ago, and everyone in my house was out for the night. Having fun somewhere. I was left alone, in my room, reflecting on the ancient wisdom. A strange wind blew, leaving a chill in the air. And, suddenly, I was overwhelmed with a righteous urge. I left my room, and with fleet of foot, went downstairs to the utility cupboard. I searched for the hoover, and lo, it was there with healthy bag. My need urged me to plug in the hoover. And hoover I did, the stairs at midnight.

And then, I knew. I am become one with Nighthoover.

Thus I did return here, to the temple, to bring my message of joy.

Welcome back to the fold.

lettuce prey

Yea thriley so lettuce spry for as it is so as it was as it was not as it is or was or mgiht have been written :: that all cometh once more unto the hoover of th enight and returneth to the dust bag of pepertuity and peppermint sauce lettuce spry

Lettuce spry And reflect together on this great miracle. For I once was lost, but the great Hoover found me behind the sofa before the time of the great dusting was to arrive.

The Hoover revealed unto me the prophecy of the great dusting. At a time such that the ministry becomes stagnant, the lord shall send forth a sign that the end is nigh. This is the dusting. The dusting will be hard times, and those cursed with allergies will not be saved by the hoover. We will question the hoover and imagine that he has stopped working and been sent away to technical engineers. But this will be his test of faith. Spiders will fly in every direction, and we will sneeze and repent, but the duster will set upon us. We will be prepared for judgement. Those who were righteous in the way of the hoover will be forever blessed with dyson; those who doubted His divine suction will be cursed with brooms.

Nighthoover be praised.

thriley so and mhrily so and fhriley so lettuce spry to the truth of the words uttereth Lettuce not fear the great duster but embrance its inevitability and nontability and face the great duster with the faith of our convinctions in the power of the hoover For even now, as the clothes do go around and around and around in the clothes drying appendage, do I move inexplicability with both brush and duster towrds the inevitability of failing light and the appearnce once more into my humble abode of the power of the hoovering of the night

Shhhh,,,,, shhhh,,, , listen... you hear it?