h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You make it sound so attractive - even if I do originally come from a place that had no italian, indian or chinese restaurants in a 6 mile radius. I do seem to remember everyone getting vey excited when a second chippie opened though!

Well, we nearly had a chinese, and we got very excited about that, but the couldn't get planing permission so they opened a video rental place instead!

Something I forgot to mention... after your curry, as you drive home, there's so many speed bumps, roundabouts, you end up feeling very very sick.. and sometimes get to experience that curry again in reverse!

Best bet is to get one delivered!

Where are you originally from? A place to avoid?

No, It's a very nice place near southampton but I generally avoid it because my family are there - see earlier conversations about embarrassing members of family!

Ah, I see. I can understand what you're saying there! Can't you find out when they're all out and pop back for a quick visit .

They're never out and sometimes I get the feeling that they just sit around waiting for me to turn up (understandable!)

Last weekend I mentioned that I may visit but I'd see how I felt so they spent the weekend all phoning each other saying "IS she here yet?"

They couldn't phone me because I was on the net and my mobile number is a secret!

Oh, the worst thing you can do is tell family you might visit - my mum's like that - takes it as a promise written in blood and when you don't go, tells the rest of the family how hurt she is and makes you feel *so* guilty!

I can't stay on the net and avoid them We've got two lines! Pah!

Even when I'm not netting I have an answer machine so I screen the calls - My mum claims she speaks to the machine more than she does me but I have her convinced it's because I have such a busy social life!

You wait until your answering machine gets your Christmas cards and birthday pressies! My mum has a nasty habbit of calling just as I pick up the phone to call someone else! Grrr...

I rang my mum a few weeks ago without any prompting and it took her so long to recover I had to promise I'd never do it again!

All part of your cunning plan! . My brother has a knack of just turning up, and when he's gone and driven down from newcastle you can't exactly tell him you're busy and turn him away!

My sister gave me 24 (that's ventadue in italian) hours notice once and I had to take a day off work so I could tidy the house!

Gawd was the house that bad? With 24 hours notice you could have found a great hiding place! I remember a friend of mine once phoned me up to say that his parents were coming back early from their holiday, and he was desparate to get the place back into shape - he asked if I could go round and help him reattach the bannister to the stairs!

It's just that my oldest sister is v. houseproud and I'm more from the school of why bother you only have to redo it all again later!

I went to the same school as you did! I've got a relative who spends all her time cleaning though... she's even dusting when she's got visitors actually in the house.. obsessive. I like a place that looks "lived in!"

That's exactly the phrase I use! My big sister used to whinge about me visiting all the time because I was so untidy and she hated it. Then my little sister stayed with her for a month and she's stopped complaining!

Might be something to do with the fact that my little sister didn't attend any school of housework!

Your sister and my brother both by the sounds of it. When he used to live here the only place you'd not find any of his rubbish would be in his bin! Life is too short to spend all your time clearing up and doing housework - let's face it, making a mess is a lot more fun! .

Yeah, and at least when you live by yourself there's no-one to whinge at you about the mess.

I also suffer from a medical condition called Dust Blindness Syndrome!

Well, you can just say that it's not mess.. it's art . You know what, I think I suffer from the same syndrome!

I have 2 hoovers as well but can't remember when I last used them!

TWO hoovers? Why's that!? Did you lose one under the rubbish . As I said, there's far better things to be doing than housework! Well.. anything really .