h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: How to Cook Lobsters - A61540490
Author: lanzababy - Pirate - Scout - adrift on life's ocean - U10790805

My final rescue attempt for the time being.

This has been in Flea Market twice before - so I am hoping for third time lucky. If you are of a squeamish vegan nature - please pass by - this involves facing a live lobster.

Previous FM entry can be found here: A42738546

I vaguely remember somebody having completed a PhD on the topic of cooking lobsters (I think comparing different methods, the resulting taste, and the possible distress inflicted to the beasts).

Someone asked him afterwards what was the point of this whole research. The answer was something along the lines of, "Well, it certainly allowed me to eat free lobster for three years"

Yes, I'm sure this research has been carried out, many sources allude to experiments on the kindest way to kill them.

This is a definite improvement, well done lanzababy.

How many rescues is this you've done now? (I'll ask for a Scavenger badge for you at 5 edited)

In the bit about sending the lobsters into a coma - you say put them in the deep freeze, but do not freeze them.

I'm presuming a deep freeze is just a freezer.

I'd just elongate the second sentence a little, so say don't allow them to freeze. That makes a bit more sense in my head.

It's a good Entry about quite a squeamish subject - well done for tackling it in a coherent and matter-of-fact way.

hi Vip

How about this sentence?

>>You are going to be just chilling, not actually freezing the lobsters, this may affect the cooking times. If they still wriggle when you remove them, put them back in the cold for another few minutes.<<<


At this point I will admit that I have never cooked a lobster, nor tried to subdue them with this cold treatment, but I promise that before this gets Edited I will try this out.


Hi Galaxy Babe - yes I have rescued 5 now - 2 in 'Coming Up' and 3 here in PR. That's my lot for a while, unless I spot another title I think I can handle.

Noted

I'd change wriggle to respond - they're not known for being the quickest moving of creatures and wriggle tends to imply speed moving!

That's a better sentence.

<fairy?

You not quite so sure about your status as a fairy this morning Vip?

Changed wiggle to [show any sign of movement]


thanks for your point of view

Hi lanzababy, a difficult, and sometimes controversial subject to tackle here...

The recommended way to do this is to place them in the deep freeze for about 10 - 15 minutes, this will send them into hibernation - a sort of coma - and is considered to be the easiest way to deal with this situation. You are going to be *just chilling*, not actually freezing the lobsters, this may affect the cooking times. If they still show any sign of movement when you remove them, put them back in the cold for another few minutes.

The idea is not to be *just chilling* the lobster, but to stun it. I believe that takes a lot longer than 10-15 minutes. The person handling the lobster may find out that it is not stunned when the lobster wriggles like mad when placed in boiling water, splashing the person placing it with said boiling water, as well as the lobster's suffering. Just because it may not wriggle when taken out of the freezer, may not mean it is sufficiently stunned to go in pot of boiling water. Two hours in the freezer according to this

http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm200405/cmselect/cmenvfru/52/4091307.htm

A couple of other minor points

I don't think it's guide style to have a Footnote on a Subheader, and

A further guide to eating lobster can be found here.

Although there are other Edited Entries that have this kind of sentence, it's not suitable for reading via mobile phones etc so is no longer used. I didn't put that very well, I'm sure Gnomon won't mind me quoting him -
"For the record, you can't put "For a recipe, please go here" in an Edited Entry, because in some skins, the link doesn't appear anywhere except in the right margin, and that sentence doesn't make sense. "

Good Luck

Emmily

Hi Emmily - I don't know how to respond to that parliamentary memorandum. If this was actually law - I presume that all the lobsters on sale in the UK would be already killed and frozen?

It's a very interesting link though and I will possibly try and find a way to use it.

I am writing this (rescued article) from a practical point of view - where the alternative is just to buy live lobsters ( where I live they are very common) and people just go and plunge cook them in the traditional manner. I think the best thing for me to do is to actually try this out.

Your other comments have been noted.

Two hours does sound a bit excessive. I watch 'Come Dine With Me', they often cook lobsters, but not recent enough for me to remember the recommended freeze stunning time, which is always mentioned in the commentary talk over.

Being a BBC site, I think you'll need to be careful to give correct advice for freeze stunning, as if someone follows your advice, and ends up get splashed with scalding water, they could try to sue.

Take care when experimenting with cooking your lobster lanzababy

Emmily

I think it will depend on the effectiveness of the freezer as well. Maybe in the meanwhile I'll re-write the wording about the times and be less specific.

Hi Emmily - please would you take a look at footnote 3? Does this sound more realistic?

Hi lanzababy, I hope you don't regret asking me this

The Footnote looks okay. But you're still saying 'You are going to be just chilling' like the lobster is a bottle of wine

My concerns are two fold -

1)The humane cooking of the lobster, that it should be stunned and not feel anything when placed in the boiling water.

2)That anyone following your advice *assumes* that they can place the lobster in boiling water without any movement from it, you don't mention the possibility that the lobster could splash about if not sufficiently stunned.

Maybe the easiest answer is to advise readers to ask how to humanely cook the lobster where they buy it, that would take the responsibility from you and the Entry.

Also, you don't mention how to hold a lobster (if I missed it, sorry) which apparently is by its back, upside down

Emmily

Comments noted Emmily - I am going to try to cook one myself, so there will be a delay with this in PR until after I get chance to do so.

btw: the use of lid with the saucepans should prevent any splashing - but I hadn't expected any splashing, especially as I say place the lobster in head first, and its claws will be restrained.

In the discussion of 'How to cook lobster', I should think it should be mentioned, that most references to 'lobster', refer to clawed lobsters. There are several groups of crustaceans known as lobsters that are not clawed.

As 'Clawed Lobsters' are not even close relatives to spiny lobsters or slipper lobsters, I think that refering to them as very large shrimp does them a disservice on several grounds: texture, flavor, size, location, etc. And, they are probably more closely related to crayfish/crawfish, than to shrimp.

Perhaps it could be argued that they are much like oversized insects in general construction (I wouldn't know about taste, but there was a chef that likened them each to the other).

As to the most humane method of dispatching them, considering the methods we use for farm fowl, sheep, cows, pigs, etc., I shouldn't think we should give it too much care. However, I've often discussed the most humane method for dispatching humans as being the trusty (rusty?) old gilloutine. It's so very quick, and years of trying to determine if any sensation was felt after the first instant has never proven out. Even gas, injection, the firing squad, and the electric chair have evidenced much longer, more horible effects, for a longer period of time, than the dropped blade.

If this is true, regardless of the method of 'stunning', if one is truly reluctant to drop an oversized bug into boiling water (I have never done so), then it seems to me that laying the crustacean down on a hard surface, and making one swift longitudinal slice down its length, is about as humane as one can get, stunning aside.

Forgive me for any unintentional signs of bloodiness, I'm really quite a soft-hearted sort.

Thanks FordsTowel


I'm going to do some practical research on this Entry fairly soon regarding the actual stunning time.


I think that cutting the lobster in half whilst it is still alive would be a step too far for the squeamish. Also, you would be left with a rather messy thing to cook; the shell when left whole keeps the meat from the water.

Regarding the etymology of lobsters - that is for another Entry perhaps. This Entry is really focusing on the European lobster. To my mind the comparison with shrimp was made on physiology, not taste or closeness in terms of ancestry.

I'll post as soon as I can find myself a nice live lobster!

There's a fishmongery in Cleethorpes (my home town) which should be open for seasonal business soon. I'll check today on the way to Mum's. I could pop in and ask him nicely for you lanza

Thanks! I've just been reading that British lobsters are stunned with an electrical current before sale. So, maybe he could confirm this? If so the part about boiling alive may be included for historical purposes or for other parts of the world.