A lobster is a large shelled crustacean resembling a giant ugly bug with huge pincers. It is native to New England (US) and is a delicacy in other parts of the country. If you insist on taking the matter of cooking it rather than letting some other sucker willing to risk a body part, here are some good rules to follow:

1. 
   The claws have been fitted with a giant rubber band, under no circumstances are you to remove this! Unless of course you think that you wouldn't mind losing a body part. Make sure you have a First Aid kit and know where it is!
   
2. Do not attempt to play, cuddle, or throw the lobster around you are already going to boil the thing to death there is no need to torture it anymore than necessary.
   
3. There are only two ways to cook lobster you can boil it or steam it. If you wish to boil it, put a small bit of water at the bottom make sure the lobster and water don't touch. Turn on the heat and wait about 10 minutes or until the lobsters are red. If you choose to boil it, add water then put lobster cook until lobsters are red. Add a beer towards the end of the cooking process, it makes it taste better.
   
4. 
   Perhaps most important, the shell is inedible, the meat is inside the shell.
5. 
   Have some nutcrackers on hand it is the only way to get to the meat inside the shell.
   
6. When eating, the tail and claws are really the only pieces worth tying to crack.
   

Finally if you have completed all the steps without hurting yourself too badly, enjoy your meal!