h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

shan't.

You know you want to .... you know, press the button really badly.

Go on - give in to the temptation.

Nope. Sorry, you lop-eared tongue-lolling tail-wagging fool, but my Network of Spies has informed me what happens. So I'm not at all curious! Besides, I have my secret Bag of Tricks to play with if temptation ever gets the better of me.

Run, Spot, Run... run for your liiiiiife!

You`re no fun. I`m off to find someone else to play with.

Oh, I'll play with you... nice doggy...
...I'll catch you and claw you about a bit, then bounce you up in the air for a few minutes, and finally get bored and sit mysteriously in the shade, unblinking.
Heheheh.

Don`t mess with me - I have some big mean friends you know.

As an aside do you think the Cat War will make the Post next issue - interesting concept having animal researchers mixing it with each other (in a very h2g2 kind of way of course).

We've just invaded the h2g2 Waterworks and Beach by the way and ACF forces are presently occupying the swimming pool, the beach and the fountain.

Are you sure you wouldn't reconsider pressing the button - I did put a lot of work into it you know and it`s a shame to let it all go to waste (tries the sympathetic approach).

You think I'd actually press your silly button, knowing what happens?
When you say 'invaded' the Beach and Waterworks... do you mean you've marked your territory? I'll be boiling my water from now on.
It'd be good if it did make the Post, since others need to be aware.
Big Mean Friends? Pah. I'll have you know I'm personally acquainted with the Unspoken Cat, the Nameless Claw, himself! I did a small favour for him before he became famous, and he is pledged to protect me always. And every single other cat as well.
Not to mention my being on close terms with Mog, Jim, Stan, Doris and Big Face.

What *does* happen?

Oh nothing much really - harmless piece of fun and all that. It'll satisfy your curiosity though .

*HAZMAT personel wander in looking slightly confused*

We were told that we could find the person... or rather... *glances at notes* ... canine (?) responsible for unleashing - if you'll, um, pardon the term - the Atomic Kitten here?

*looks at button trap for a moment*

No, I'm sorry. You'd need the bomb squad and their dogs to fall for that one.

G7

Got seven of you so far. There`s a roll of dishonour at the Scientific Research Centre listing em.

Heh heh heh heh.

I don't think I'll be pressing that, then

Spoilsport

Would it sho my username if I wrote in someone else's?

Don't test it.

G7

Warning taken

~an insistent and persuasive voice is heard by all the Cats visiting this thread~

.... no harm can come to you - press the button. Satisfy your curiosity. You cannot resist the button - it will take you to a place where all cats have to go to. Press the button ....

*resists*

I can't...I won't...mustn't...shant...

You know you want to ... really really badly that is. Press the button. Just press the button - you will feel much better. Give in to your inner self, satisfy your curiosity.

NOOOoooooooo......