A Conversation for The Alternative Writing Workshop
A48889741 - Pietà
minorvogonpoet Posted Mar 21, 2009
Yes, this is very vivid and also manages to convey the reaction of David as he set about painting the assassination of Marat.
Was he actually called in to paint the scene as Marat lay there just after his death?
I wondered about 'rotted' flesh, but I know Marat had a skin condition. And does 'would bathe' suggest a past?
I really don't know how fiercely these judges are going to interpret their rules.
A48889741 - Pietà
Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor Posted Mar 21, 2009
This is really interesting.
The use of the second person makes me resist this description for all I'm worth. As in, "How dare this person assume I'm a Jacobin?'
Then it does something cool at the end, because I step back enough to see the painter himself, and - although I still think he's a self-dramatising idiot - realise I've seen what he's seen, even if I interpret it differently.
The style brings the painting motif to life: At first, I thought the description was just drippingly florid, but then I thought about what it was he painted: something idealised, not real.
Suggestion: You used the word 'putrid' twice. I'd say find a synonym.
A48889741 - Pietà
Trout Montague Posted Mar 21, 2009
Thanks guys, you're very generous.
The day after the assassination, David was sent to make preparation for Marat's funeral and to paint a tribute to the victim. "There is yet one more painting for you to do" and "Return Marat to us whole again" they implored. Being the height of summer, Marat's body was decaying rapidly.
Regarding "And does 'would bathe' suggest a past?", possibly yes. But Marat's death also implies a life lived. Likewise does that allude to a past?
A48889741 - Pietà
Danny B Posted Mar 23, 2009
Very vivid indeed! My only contact with the painting is through Terry Gilliam's use of it in a couple of Monty Python animations, but I never thought it might have been painted from life. Eeuw...
A48889741 - Pietà
AlexAshman Posted Mar 23, 2009
This is good, though it's not so much a single snapshot as a person seeing a scene for a first time. Phrases such as "as you tear your gaze away" might be questionable - it depends upon how you interpret the challenge. You may well get away with it.
A48889741 - Pietà
Tibley Bobley Posted Mar 25, 2009
There was a documentary about the painting on the telly ages ago. I'd forgotten it. This refreshed the memory almost like seeing it again.
A48889741 - Pietà
Trout Montague Posted Dec 14, 2009
I expect I saw the same doco. A big Allan Whicker sort of a gent doing the whole history of art in a few 60 minute sessions. I think I should at least attribute "acoutrements of a saint" to him.
Key: Complain about this post
A48889741 - Pietà
- 1: Trout Montague (Mar 21, 2009)
- 2: minorvogonpoet (Mar 21, 2009)
- 3: Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor (Mar 21, 2009)
- 4: Trout Montague (Mar 21, 2009)
- 5: aka Bel - A87832164 (Mar 23, 2009)
- 6: Danny B (Mar 23, 2009)
- 7: AlexAshman (Mar 23, 2009)
- 8: Tibley Bobley (Mar 25, 2009)
- 9: frenchbean (Mar 26, 2009)
- 10: Trout Montague (Dec 14, 2009)
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