A Conversation for The Alternative Writing Workshop

A87911607 - Having a Wales of a time

Post 1

Paigetheoracle

Entry: Having a Wales of a time - A87911607
Author: Paigetheoracle - U15002949

Although this includes facts about places, it is a little biased in favour of some and against others, hence putting it in the AWW


A87911607 - Having a Wales of a time

Post 2

minorvogonpoet

I'm biased in favour of Wales, having spent three years at what was then University College of Wales, Aberystwyth. smiley - biggrin

Nevertheless, I think this article would be clearer if it concentrated on one aspect of the Welsh countryside - waterfalls for example, or caves, or one region.



A87911607 - Having a Wales of a time

Post 3

Dmitri Gheorgheni - Not Banned in China

I agree. There's a risk of running the reader around too much.


A87911607 - Having a Wales of a time

Post 4

Bluebottle

The entry is very enjoyable but it doesn't have a common thread pulling it all together. It would make an excellent basis for an entry on, say, 'Wonderful Welsh Waterfalls' or 'Natural Wonders of Wales', but it does need to have something to explain what these places have in common.

I'd also recommend concentrating on writing about places in Wales and not having too many mentions of places outside. Remember there are readers from outside the UK who don't know what the West Country is and how it isn't part of Wales. If the entry is on Wales, it seems odd to read about Tintagel, Wookey Hole and Scotland. Comparisons in footnotes are fine, so if you wrote about Pistyll Rhaeadr, in Llanrhaeadr-Ym-Mochnant (the valley of the pig), you can legitimately state that it is similar to St. Nectan's Kieve.

On reading this, I'm intrigued by the places you mention but would like to know more. So instead of writing 'A is great, B is great too, oh and C is also great' can you tell us more about why AB and C merit attention? For example, I love the sentence 'Finally you come to Castlemartin tank range with its dayglo tank'. Sounds great, no idea what it is. I know what a rifle range is smiley - mod so I assume that a tank range is similar but for tracked, heavily-beweaponed vehicles? As 'dayglo' (tm?) means a highly bright, often luminescent paint and/or colour, this can only be a gunnery range for tanks that work on the completely opposite principle to camouflage.smiley - wow

Please don't think this is a criticism – you have made me want to read more, although I would like to know how the places you have mentioned join together and have a common theme.

<BB<


A87911607 - Having a Wales of a time

Post 5

Paigetheoracle

Bluebottle, the common thread was me rushing about on holiday, trying to take in all these places in the month I had to do it in (ADHD anyone or running around madly, stunned by the beauty I beheld, seeing that I came from East Anglia, the flat as a pancake opposite side of the country and farmland or commercial forests to boot!)smiley - run

I based the month long exploration on The Red Guide to Wales, part of a famous series of books, giving details of places of interest in specific areas of the UK. My time was limited so I actually had to miss out great chunks to make it round in time before returning to work at the alloted time. I had used one of these guides the previous year, to explore The South West Way in a month again. This included parts of Dorset, Devon and Cornwall. Once more I had to miss out great chunks of the journey because of time constraints, which included Polperro as a destination. smiley - wah

The dayglo tank was part of a bombing range and the headland included a colony of chough's, a member of the crow family with bright orange curved beaks and one of only two I know of. Yes, despite the bright colour they still missed the target, even with guided weapons or it would have been blown to smithereens I would imagine but wasn't.
smiley - wahWhat do these places have in common? I thought that would be obvious - they are like Jonah, all in Wales!smiley - cheers


A87911607 - Having a Wales of a time

Post 6

Florida Sailor All is well with the world

That might be an excellent introduction. Although the Guide does not like first person Entries, you might open with 'What can a Researcher do if they only have 30 days to experience Wales?'

It would also help if you told us about how far apart each sight is in hours or km's. This is exactly the sort of thing that the Guide is made to do, but you have to think in terms of how can I explain it clearly to someone who knows nothing about the subject (like me)

Are they listed in chronological order, or by the importance you place on each. You might also mention a few of the sights you wanted to see, but skipped due to time constraints. I have often found after a trip a few of the things I missed because I did not know about them at the timesmiley - shrug

F smiley - dolphin S


A87911607 - Having a Wales of a time

Post 7

Dmitri Gheorgheni - Not Banned in China

Good thoughts. smiley - smiley


A87911607 - Having a Wales of a time

Post 8

Paigetheoracle

This is more a travelogue in the mould of the old newsreel fillers of the fifties and sixties. I moved from place to place by public transport and then got out to explore the areas I specifically wanted to see, catching another bus back to my campsite. Because of this I have no idea of distances.

Scotland is better advertised through films, TV and books, fictional or factual. Also ancestrally there was the Highland clearances, which cleared people off the land to make way for sheep, leading to emigration to other countries and tourists returning to the old country, to catch up with lost relatives.


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