h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

phobias ahhhhhh, before i had my son there wasnt anything (except spiders) that could scare me, but now days lots of strange things scare me hieghts, piers, death, lots of different things, i think its because my thoughts have changed since i gave birth and my life is lived round my son and i dont want anything bad to happen to me or him

I know just what you mean. I remember how hard the first news broadcast I saw after bringing my first baby home hit me. Before you have children you see terrible things on the news and think 'How awful - I'd hate that to happen to me.' Once you've got kids, though, you think, 'How awful - that could happen to my child', which is far, far worse.

Having someone helpless depend totally on you to keep them alive is pretty chastening, too, and I know I was much more aware of the risks I took every day once I had a baby to look after. Have you had the first trip with the baby in the car yet? I didn't exceed thirty mph, dropping to fifteen for bends, for the first fifty miles or so.

Does this happen to men too?

Oh yes, it happens to us menfolk, too. In hindsight (where everything is always clearer), babies are fairly sturdy, very portable, they don't come home drunk, and you know and like all of their friends. Relax and enjoy.

hi sarah, well actually my boy is six now, and it still doesnt get better especially as he is into everything. i remember when i was six i used to play on my bike round the corner everyday, there is no way id let my boy, it is so nice to no that someone else feels excactly the same way as me.
talking of car rides, my mum came to pick me up from the hospital after i came out with my little boy and drove home at 15 miles per hour lol. also im expecting my second child now, i wonder if it will get easier when he /she arrives

hi mooneye, like the name!!!!
well my boy is six now but it still worries me,but im expecting my second hopefully it will get better lol.
do you have any kids

Hi Hippichicki! We have two boys, Sean and Daniel, but both are young men now. I guess my point was that worrying about kids gets worse as they get older, but that's not really true. Their problems don't get worse, just different. No matter what their age, they can still give you that queasy feeling and moments of near-panic. It just goes with the job, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. You'll grow too, along with them.

thanks mooneye, growing up in an all girls family i suppose i havent had to go through the problems that boys go threw. i think im more scared about going through the hormonal stages with a boy lol.
im expecting my 2nd child at the moment , does it get easier when the 2nd comes along and i wonder will i not be so over protective of my boy

I suppose that it does get easier with the second child, if only because you have some experience. Of course, every child is an individual, and they let you know that from the start, so in many respects you're starting all over again. Being overprotective is better than just cutting them loose, but you have to let them learn by doing, so a few bumps, bruises, and stitches are going to be inevitable. Our boys are also spaced six years apart and that helped a lot. One little one at a time can be trying enough.

Amen to all that. Actually, my own four children range from 24 to 7 years old, and the experience I recounted with my first child is a long way in the past. My confidence as a parent certainly increased as I went along, but they have a way of throwing up new challenges just when you think you've got it cracked. As they get older, the things that happen to them are more and more outside your control and, as you say, you have to let them make at least some of their own mistakes.

I think it helps to let children start making some judgements and decisions for themselves while they are still quite young, and before the sort of choices they are faced with are too life-changing - whether to have fish fingers or sausages for tea rather than whether to accept that first cigarette from a friend or not. The confidence to know your own mind and stick to what you believe rather than bow to peer pressure takes time to develop.

It might be hard, but there's no doubt that it's also uniquely rewarding - hold that thought!