h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I knew the word "bum" would get your attention!

Now, we have a situation here where A Certain Unnamed Viking turns up totally unannounced & in fact uninvited at a very late hour. Him be very & weepy (so what's new?)

Him beg & creep for painkillers, & food & of course, oodles of sympathy because, my friends, get the Kleenex out....

He has a poorly tooth.

(Waits for strains of violins to start)

The fact that muggins here has undergone torment at the hospital for a fairly well buggered knee meets with blank stares "Where is theooh, it's not very cold is it?"

Anyway, it gets fed. It bores my friend Laurent into a stupor with tales of how hard done by it is. It takes itself off to my bed. Me & Laurent stay up & dostuff. Then i go up to bed.

It's lying there in its Tshirt, but no knickers. I have to point out that, for all his faults, this guy has quite possibly the best bum on the planet & believe me, i know what i am talking about.Unfortunately, he is well aware of this & feels it sufficient to justify his existence completely.

He is lying on his front with the All Singing, Non Dancing Glorious Bottom shining in the moonlight. Me stare; me resist; me no stroke....until next morning, when sunrise reveals it in even more beauty.(thinkGolden Brown/ Peaches)

Aww, come on, what's a girl to do? All i did was gently caress it, i didn't start waving The Big Green Dildo at it. But bottom owner awakes & starts wailing "I have toothache, i need painkillers, you woke me up It's all your fault!"

So: let this be a lesson to you, boys & girls. Bottoms are DIRECTLY connected to TEETH.

This may be the origin of the phrase "He was talking out of his a**e!"

zdt

*squeals with laughter*





Oh Terri!

I was intrigued by the subject line, and not disappointed. Very funny story!