h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Poor Murray is getting BULLIED by not one but TWO ladies from not one but TWO different continents into UPGRADING his MSN!!!

Poor dear. Deer poor? Nah, they are all on benefits & anyway Bambi's mother got SHOT!!!!!

zdt

yah, and if I don't stop getting bullied...I've got a bead on Bambi's favorite uncle too

Why sulk when you can shoot off intead

IknewitIknewitIknewitIknewitIknewit!!!!!!!!!!!!

This happened last time too

Under much duress, as has been sighted, I downloaded the new, shiny, ultra-sexy MESSANGER 7.5!
I waited, with bated breath, whilst the large file was downloaded under dial-up circumstances (I know, I should get broadband, or cable, or DSL or some such. But the truth is, I don't do enough online to justify it, or the cost)
Seasons pass, children grow old and have children themselves, when finally; download complete.
I press the inviting "Install now" button and watch lines of progress fly about the screen.
With a satisfied feeling I press "finish", all the boxes close, the machine goes into restart mode; and freezes. My stomach sinks.
In the process of restarting I get 3 “End application” prompts, not a good sign.
The machine restarts, and I have a shiny, new Messenger box on my desktop, good. Maybe it was worth all the worry and fretting.
Sign on to the net, sign in to Messenger. Program not responding.
Not good at all.
I restart my computer, complete with 1 (at least I’ve lost 2) “end application”, and once again have a shiny new Messenger box on my desktop, which I take the precaution of closing.
Log onto the internet again, and now my shiny new messenger is quietly sulking in a corner, and will not be prodded into daylight; no matter how many times I plead with it, offer it sweets, or poke it with a cyber-stick

See what being pressured can do to a person, or at least a computer?

Anyone would think you have problems!

Me? Problems? Nahhh

*giggles*

That's nice to know!!

Teatime here .. I will catch up with you later


Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Well look, just forget logic & try the opposite. You know my screens been yellow & dying for ages? Well, after squeaking to you Murray on MSN, i went to sort the plants out & dumped my cushion on top of the monitor so the dog wouldn't eat it.

Now, in retrospect, that is a very silly thing to do. Monitors get HOT when left switched on & the cushion is serving nicely as a heating pad for my back right now *but* could just as easily be setting the house on fire

BUT the screen is bright sparkly white

The whole thing will probably blow up when i switch it off or i wil get error messages "The computer demands a cushion, psychological help, 72 virgins in paradise & a bottle of before continuing.All major credit cards accepted."

zdt*the dog just farted, i am expiring rapidly*

lil, I don't blame you for , I wouldn't get too near my Messanger issues either

Terri, hope you survived the bio-chemical assault from skanky, or else all that follows would be, by definition, talking to myself

The inherent difference: You are dealing with a proverbial ghost in the machine, nothing a cyber-exorcism shouldn't cure; while I quite happily and cheerily downloaded an apparently malicious program, nothing cybernatural about that.
Of course I suppose it could be that I just have an unpleasant computer and IT should seek the psycological help you were refering to earlier. I hadn't thought of that before

Turn it upside down, place it across your knees & SPANK it soundly. Ignore it if it cries, if it continues to misbehave SPANK it again, this time using a nice whippy cane.

Make sure it is aware that the next stage is having a hammer applied to its head; this is the sure fire method of curing all mechanical problems.

zdt*you can see why i am so popular can't you*

OoooOOOOhh! I much prefer the soft talking, stroking and caressing way of getting things done..

OK, well you do all the coochy coo stuff on the front bits, while i abuse the back bits, then we swap over. That should shock it into such confusion it starts working again.

zdt

*squeals with laughter*

Oh Terri!!

I'm trying to fix the machine, not send it into shock from...um...overexhilaration

Just to give an update, the foolish Messanger doesn't seem to freeze ALL the time, but it still won't connect and make everything bright and sunny like all the adverts seem to promise

I've got a message into MSN, waiting on a reply (but not holding my breath, blue isn't my color )

Well?

Have you fixed it yet?


*waits for a reply*