Third time lucky...

Welcome one and all to the third edition of Ask Prof! It certainly looks
like my little plea for more letters last week
has paid off, as I've got so much to reply to! So much in fact that I'm
having to cut short the introductory section of the article to fit
everything in!

However, before I move on to the letters, I've had a request from the
good DoctorMO, one of the illustrators for this fine giver of news, the
Post. He says that he actually thoroughly understood the little joke I
printed in the first
edition of Ask Prof, and wishes me to post a new one that's a little
more taxing on the old synaptic pathways. Very well then! Here's a little
rib-tickler I heard once while I was visiting a planet in San Beta as
ambassador for the Government.

One Arundoläe would ask another Arundoläe: "What do you get
if you cross a veritably large Eörlambas with a San Betian
Councillor?"

To which the other Arundoläe would reply: "I don't know. What do
you get if you cross a veritably large Eörlambas with a San Betian
Councillor?"

"An awfully slow Quärnor!"

Terribly cheeky towards the Government at the time, but a truly witty gag
nonetheless!

Ah yes, here we are: letters! I've had three letters and messages since
last week, all printed below. Well, I say
they're all printed, but this is in fact a lie. The first e-mail I received
had more questions than could possibly fit in one issue, so I've had to
split it up. The rest of the questions will appear either all in next week's
issue, or over the next two. Remember, if you have any questions, do write to
me!

Good day to you Ming! My, aren't we talkative today? Whew, this is going
to need quite some answering.

Very well. A GalaGroup is a group of galaxies all under the rule of one
governmental or other ruling body. They can be anywhere from two to eight
galaxies in size, and are not actually common. In truth, most galaxies don't
have any government at all, preferring to remain independent, but
government-bound galaxies are still more frequently found than
GalaGroups.

A GalaGroup Overseer - I being the only one currently in existence, as no
other government is advanced enough to do without a president or dictator -
is the Head of the Government. They preside in the Governmental Committee
which is made up of representatives from the individual Galactic Councils.
They have the absolute final say in things, and can - frankly speaking - do
as they wish. However, my way of going about things is in a very relaxed
manner. After many years of hard toil I managed to get this Government into
some type of order, where all corruption was wiped out, and the Heads of
Departments could get on with their own jobs, quite independently. I, as
GalaGroup Overseer of San Beta, merely act as representative to the
GalaGroup, but will, however, have to make any decision which proves to be too
much for the Governmental Committee.

My opposition was, on the whole, quite formidable this term round. The
first election I took place in after the Government had been reformed and
the term 'President of the GalaGroup' had changed to 'GalaGroup Overseer',
in 1998, was full of people just dying to get a hold on this new
Governmental system, just a bunch of fools with no particular interest for
the welfare of the GalaGroup. This time round though, people's ideas seem to
have settled down a bit, and there were some quite good candidates. A few of
said fools were still in the running, but most candidates would have been
able to sustain the current economic state of San Beta. I do note, however,
that, while they could sustain it, only I could better it!

The GalaGroup of San Beta is made up of six large galaxies. In order of
increasing size, volumetrically speaking, these are: Bugarrr, Ilsa, Ilsa
Gamma, San Alpha, Osiales and San Beta. Indeed yes, San Beta is also the
name of the main galaxy within the GalaGroup. Confusing, no? It gets even
more perplexing when I tell you that there is even a star system named San
Beta, within which the G-Planet can be found. San Alpha is the name of both
a galaxy, as shown above, and a star system next to San Beta. Both San Gamma
and Delta exist also, both as binary star systems not far away from San
Beta.

Well, I hope that's enough for now! I'll answer more of your many
questions in the next issue, never fear!

Greetings MaW, fellow Minister! I'm sorry to hear about the argument which has
arisen between your penguins and will most certainly attempt to alleviate
the problem with my knowledge of technology. As some people may know, I held
myself in a time loop of a few decades to gain more time to learn a bit
about magic, and can now speak with authority on the subject of
technomagical relations.

Indeed, I may be able to satisfy both sides of the dispute by referring
to the two major types of magic I know: traditional magic, and advanced
magic. Traditional magic is the sort of material used in tales like the Lord
of the Rings and is comprised mostly of mental and subtle spells, and relies
quite heavily on things like fate and foresight. Sufficiently advanced
technology - by which I assume you mean my state - is in fact more
sophisticated than this, and more obvious. Take for example the War of the
Rings in the above-mentioned work of fiction. If I were in Frodo's position
- being the person who had to travel miles upon miles to a mountain to
destroy one evil entity's source of power, the One Ring - I would simply
teleport the dratted object into the mountain and have done with it.
Similarly, if I were to take part in the Battle of the Pelennor Fields, I
would send a multitude of my probes out to destroy each individual foe, thus
completing the task most effectively. I could also simply generate a force
field around the City! Judged this way, technology is indeed
indistinguishable from magic.

However, advanced magic, the likes of which you and your penguins use,
does not follow the same principals. With advanced magic you are able to,
say, transport yourself from anywhere to anywhere else without hassle, and
can manipulate your surroundings to a remarkable degree. And, although
technology can protect itself from magic and even emulate it slightly, - I
like to use my hands and gestures as commands, as opposed to pressing
buttons for example - it cannot reach the same level. At least not yet,
no.

I hope that has cleared it up. Basically, both penguin parties are correct,
depending on which type of magic they were thinking of. By the way, I did
hear about your little experiment. Indeed, my contacts in Andromeda are
still trying to work out who did it, though I immediately expected it to be
someone from h2g2! Have a good day!

Hello Martin, thankyou for your question! I must state however that you
are wrong in your assumption that the system is corrupt. Believe me, after
the utter failure of the US electoral system *cough* I would never
allow my system to be in any way related to it! But I trust I know where
your assumption may have come from.

Last week I ran through the electoral system
in San Beta, but may have been a bit too vague. The stumbling point in my
speech was to say that the planets under my Government's rule were allowed
to use whatever method of voting they wished. This was, in fact, an inaccuracy
on my part, and I beg forgiveness. The planets are closely watched by the
various galactic sector officials to make sure that the five votes each
planet gets are correctly distributed according to the voting population's
decision, i.e. if two fifth of the population vote for one person, two of
the five votes are allocated to that candidate. After the votes are
submitted to the Sector Supervisory Groups a new set of five votes are
aligned to each candidate in proportion to the many sets of five votes
received from the planets. It's then simply a matter of counting the votes
from the galactic sectors.

Rest assured, Martin, that nothing could go wrong in this system while
I'm around, though if there is any way in which to ascertain my glory even
more, I'll be the one to think it out! Thank you again!

Anyway, that's it for this issue of Ask Prof. And my, what a jam-packed
issue it turned out to be! But don't let that discourage you from writing to me - e-mails and messages are always welcome.
Have a nice week!

Yours with aching fingers,

- Professor Christopher Tonks

Minister for Science & Technology for the Alabaster House

GalaGroup Overseer to San Beta
E-mail


(Page looks best in Alabaster.)

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