The Post 140: Tweet-A-Guide-Entry

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The Tweet-A-Guide-Entry Challenge

Last week, we set a challenge for our Twitter followers to write a Guide Entry in just one Tweet. With only 140 characters to play with, we had some interesting responses...


WRC: A motorsport where cars are driven on 3 different surfaces, sideways is a preferred position, won 6 times recently by the French.
F1: A motorsport where 20 cars line up and drive round in circles for 2 hours. A sport for Princes, playboys, weirdos and bimbos.


Jeremy Clarkson: mop haired TV presenter/ranting halfwit, inexplicably popular despite being UK's number one polluter. Smells awful.


Moorhen: small black water-bird with red beak. Lives in ponds and slow rivers. Settles disputes with other moorhens by kick boxing.

The Jon M

The Jon M tweeted so many responses to this challenge that #post140 was momentarily the top trending subject. These are a few of his responses to the challenge.

Lambs: Innocent bouncy fluffy young farm creatures of joy that inhabit fields during spring and kebab shops at night.
Sheep: Brooding, grass chewing woollen beasties that spend all day dreaming of the downfall of humanity, hikers in particular.
Yo-yo: Down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down, up, down.
Nick Griffin: The hateful result of sending a boy with the face of a melted owl to an all girls school. An insult to Great Britain
Centrifugal Force: Does not exist, it is just the effects of momentum. Mentioning it causes physicists to foam at the mouth.
M62 Motorway: It ain't no technological breakdown, oh no, this is the road to Hull.


Hot Toddy: Measure of whiskey, lemon stuck with cloves, spoon of honey, into heated glass, top up with boiling water. Or use port.


Hallowe'en: Nobody really knows its origins. Was celebrated as All Hallows Eve mainly by the Scots and Irish; now American commerce.

Demon Drawer

Tea: Is a drink normally served hot, though occasionally cold, in best china. It can be served with milk or not, sugar is optional.


X Factor: Show in which talentless singers are ritually abused for baying rabble, Simon Cowell and record deal, ruining Hallelujah.

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