Are you ready for the war

How I was brought in:

The year was 1997. I was in AIT* at Fort Gordon, GA. I met many people while I was in this land of learning, but few would change my life as this one Pvt. This individual seemed the carefree type and could turn a boring basic electronics class into a good time. Woodward (the person I am talking about) was to leave the Army due to some medical issues but before he left he stumbled across something that he let only a few people know about. Before the Army let him leave they put him through a series of tests. Part of the process was to talk to a physiologist. During one of the sessions he accidentally blurted this information to her and it ended up having grave consequences to him latter. You see, one-month prior, he had found out that sheep could talk.

Woody's First encouter

He had been out on a farm (girls drive men to do strange things sometimes) working with the father of a girl he was dating. During the course of the day he was asked to go open the gate so that the sheep could be moved from one pasture to another. While he was walking up to the gate he heard a conversation that I will now attempt to relay to you. "We have finally taken the hill 213 and will be moving to sector j57 within the week. These stupid humans will not be able to stand up to us when we implement plan Gamma-one-bravo. The final plans will not be ready until the summer of 2002 but when we unleash them we will have no problem taking over." Now this seemed absurd because for one thing no one was over on this side of the farm and there was no radio or TV. that could explain the weird statement. Woodward just kind brushed it off and walked around the corner saying "wonder who that was". He looked up and there were 5 sheep in a circle, they looked up startled and the smallest one of the bunch said, "well it wasn't us." This got him shushed by his fellow comrades. At this time Woody just shook his head and looked up to see that the sheep were now standing up munching on grass every once and a while letting out a little baaaa. Woody would of dismissed this as a simple case of being out in the sun for too long but that night while he slept he was attacked by 3 masked sheep.

He barely got away with his life and did not know where to turn. He tried to tell the girl's father but was just laughed at. He came back to the base that day almost missing role call at the Sunday formation. He laid low for about two weeks then he felt he could not hold it in any longer. He decided to confide in me friend because, he thought that I would do all I could to help him. I must admit I did not believe a word of his story and neither did my friend. We decided it would be best just to humor him and go along with it. When the day came for his fateful meeting with the physiologist I had put most of it behind me. When Woody came in my room white as a ghost I knew something was wrong. He mentioned that he had accidentally let it slip. He had only said one little phrase and I had assured him that the physiologist would probably just think it was some type of joke. Woody had only said, "Sheep lie." What's the worst that could happen? If she had thought it a big deal she would call him back in and he could just tell her he was just joking around. When Woody left the next week for home I thought that would be the last I herd of this silly sheep nonsense. Oh how foolish us mortals can be.

Awakened again

My life went on with no mention of this silly sheep business. I got out of the Army and moved to New York. Here I have come to meet many interesting people and have very long detailed conversations at a little place in Dobbs Ferry. One of the regulars at the place is Bill. Bill is a photographer of some renowned and has regaled us with tales of his many adventures from all over the world. One day after the conversation had gone on many wild tangents Bill made a statement that made my blood run cold. He said, "Did you know sheep lie." Memories of my experiences with Woody came flooding back into my mind. This could not be on the same lines could it? I told him that someone had told me that once and that I would be grateful if he could clarify his statement. He looked me in my eyes and said, "not now the walls have ears." We left to take a little walk and when we were alone he told me about his run in with the sheep.

Bill's Story

It was a year ago to that day that he had been taking some pictures for a travel mag in Australia. He had located a large sheep field and was planing on taking a beautiful shot of the countryside as the sun came up over the horizon. It was about 0500 when he set up his gear so that he would be ready when the sun came up. In the distance he saw a flash of light and decided he should go investigate. Walking over the field he found a large group of sheep. It would not be very odd to find sheep in a sheep field but as he watched and listened he realized they were all in formation. They were all marching in what looked to him a battalion sized element*. What disturbed him most was not the marching but the cadence* being sung. I must admit that it sort of bugged me to. The sheep cadence was, "I don't know what you been told. But us damn sheep will break the fold. We come to win and take the land. Kill the people and destroy the man." He continued by telling me that he had imedidly tried to get back to his truck and get a camera so that he could have proof of what he saw. He made it back and started taking pictures but was spotted by the sheep and chased screaming like a baby out of the field. In the process he lost hold of the camera and it was quickly trampled by the enraged sheep. Bill knowing that his life was in danger got out of Australia as quick as it was totally possible. On arriving back on US soil he attempted to write about his experience. He posted a little tid bit on the Internet. Shortly there after he received an email from my old friend Woody and they agreed to meet and talk. Woody told Bill of what happened after he left the Army.

Woody's second run in

He told him about getting home the week after seeing the physiologist. He arrived at the airport but his mom and dad were not there to pick him up. He called home but a strange voice answered the phone and told him he would be picked up in a few min. He was picked up a short time latter by a black car. Knowing that his parents did not have the money for a car service that this must be some type of trap. He could not run because he needed to find out if his parents were ok or not. The driver did not look too dangerous so he got into the back seat and did not say a word on the entire trip home. When he arrived home he went through the front door and was slightly pushed threw by the driver. In the living room he saw his mom and dad tied up and three sheep holding weapons on them. The door slammed behind him and he looked in horror as the driver took off his disguise reveling that he was a sheep. Not knowing what to do he decided to try and find out information from them. He asked, "what the hell is going on." In response to his question a female voice came from the kitchen saying, "you talked, we cannot have that, it will ruin our plans." The voice seemed some what familiar. The body that belonged to the voice stepped around from the corner and it was to his surprise the physiologist. She to took off her disguise and he realized she was also a sheep and a fluffy one at that. Seeing that the other sheep were kinda distracted watching this new sheep he push past her into the kitchen. After diving over the counter narrowly missing the few bullets that the surprised guards had been able to get off he hit the ground with a large thud. Thinking quickly he grabbed the fire extinguisher (that you are supposed to have in the kitchen people). When the guards came around he was able to blind them temporally with the white powder. Taking their weapons he pinned the remaining sheep down and freed his mom and dad. He knew that this situation was volatile so he had his dad start the car and they took off. He had sense then hid his family and been waging war on the sheep with the little support he could gain from people that he found that knew the awful secret. That is how he found Bill. The only problem being that Woody had been seriously injured during his last raid and would not be able to come and talk to me.

What have you done for me lately

This is why Bill had tracked me down. This is why he had made the comment in the bar. They were trying to get me to help them. I asked what could I do? I have been made head of the Special Purpose Attack Men (SPAM). This is part of the larger Sheep Are Our Enemies (SAOE) group. I have been tasked to get the information out to the people and set up a strike group to attack what we believe will be the starting point for the major sheep invasion. At this time the war's battles have been small and only small groups on either side have been harmed but now with the starting of the People Against Sheep Movement (PASM) we have had to take drastic measures. You see while the war has been going on there was only two sides the sheep and us. A new faction has emerged though and totally thrown off the sheep's time frame. PASM have actually used biological weapons against the sheep in the recent year in an attempt to break the war effort (and you thought the hove and mouth disease was natural). We do not back this movement by the PASM for many reasons. Biological weapons are nasty. We will no use them on our enemy. By using this weapon the PASM have made the sheep very edgy and they have pushed forward there main attack time by one year.

Now that you Know, now what

Will you join in the fight? If you would like to be part just join the conversations below and you will be added into the story line. Have fun and see you on the battle field.

Here are the people already fight with me:

• Gen Jones-I would not normaly put my self down as a worthless officer but it goes
• LT Col O'kefe-Comander of 1st Batalion
• LT Col Starbirth-Comander of 2nd Battalion
• Pico Jr.-Leader of the Red Lipstick Brigade

Known sheep enemys

• Fluffy-aka Sara-Watch out she is a tricky one.
• Not sure of the name-one pissed off sheep

As the story goes on

Follow the folowing links to continue reading the story. It will be updated as often as time and intrest allow.

• Chapter one
• Chapter two

The threads that started it all

If you would like to see the origanal threads on this subject you may follow these links. I would like the conversations to be continued here though.

• SPAM in action
• Fluffy is exposed