h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The room long dark marble (monolith?) bar is being tended by an interesting fellow named Bob, all drinks anyone could think of are there!

[Bob]
"The bar is where all the supervillans here at T.G.I.Doomsday's can get completely drunk out of thier minds. So get your blood caked self over to the bar, and have a tequila. Or two. Or three."

[Clipboard]
"Or If you're like me, and think that human contact is still just a fad, you can have any beverage you like... just ask the drink machine over there! And if it gives you any crap about nutrition, shareing, or enjoying, you have my permission to scream at it, kick it or smack it with that ruler on the wall over there. It won't feel any pain (that kind of programming is diffucult to do on drink machines) but it can sense the anger when you srtike it, and it knows when to quit. Go at it!"

[Bob]
"So come have a drink at The (Real) Bar, where our motto is: Gin makes a man mean! Everyone Booze up and riot!"

~A woman, dressed all in black, sweeps into the room and sits down at the bar~

Eden: Might you have any vodka?

[SW]
I need a my sister is getting onmy nerves. She wants to destroy my Imps for some reason. Heroes... BAH!! **Throws a rock at one of the heroic types tied to a chair**

Eden: Start a breeding colony. Then you'll always have more imps, even if she destroys them.

~Eden tires of waiting, so she goes around the bar and pours a for herself and one for Miss Weaver~

It's not that I don't have enough Imps, I get about 42000 a week from my imaginary fiends. It's just she wants her socks back. I guess she doesn't realise that wearing mismatched socks can be a good weapon. Last I saw her she was wearing one plaid, and one striped.

you really don't need to wait, just go up to Bob or the drink machine and get whatever you want...

[goes up to the drink machine and gets a bottle of nyquil]

Eden: ~to Clipboard~ Drinking the hard stuff, eh?

~to Miss Weaver~ Often when siblings fight, it is simply for the excuse to fight. But of course, you already know that. The problem is in finding a way to win.

~Eden shrugs and drinks her ~

[SW]
Yes I know, the truth is we used to be the same person, but got split in two. I was stolen by the Imps, and made their leader. I think Dinah may be jelose.
I'm not really EVIL you know, I just try to get people to think for themselves and reject outdated forms of morality. Of course my Imps are thieves, not much I can do about that, and they do have to be kept busy.
Oh yes, I would also like to be able to rule a world or two, but does that make me EVIL?? It's not like I'm the sort of villian who sadistically tortures people...
Well, there was that time with the Vogon Poet, but, well, I owed the Vogon a favour, you know how it is.

*Enters, wearing a clean toga and sunglasses, instead of his usual dark robes*

How's everyone doing! I didn't expect to see anyone here. I'm just wandering around h2g2, wondering where I can head for a bite to eat, and see this place! Nice....very nice....don't suppose I could get a gyro, could I?

Eden: ~to Mr Krylma~ I would help you, but I'm afraid I only know where the vodka is.

~She gestures to her own glass and then turns back to Miss Weaver.~

Eden: I know how you feel. So many people assume that I am evil simply because my brother is. Well, I suppose they assume that I'm evil because I go along with his schemes for universal domination. But I'm really not...

~Eden drains her glass and pours another.~

Eden: ~darkly~ He's up to something, you know. Chasing about some afgncap person for some silly pop-up book... But there's something else, too.

~Eden looks over at Mr Krylma and her eyes show that she has been deeply affected by the vodka.~

Eden: He's watching them. Your people. He's watching them all so closely... One in particular. A girl.

~Eden drinks her entire glass in one gulp, then looks at it with disdain.~

Eden: I've had too much to drink. If you'll all excuse my rude departure, I think I'll be off for the Laire before I say too much. I fear that I already have.

~Eden walks out the door a bit unsteadily.~

~was here all along~
[Yo]Hey Bob, he asked for a Gyro, go get it!



[John(stammering)]Itts....itsss..... an honar s..sir


[Yo to KL] Hows vacation so far?

Wow...

A bar...

[Whips out Giant shot glass]

1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila, Floor!

Oh, by the way... I'm opening a small restaurant in the corner...

The Big Giant Sandwich! (the meal, not the city in Britain)

...........Did I doze off?...I must have drank too much nyquil for it's alcohol content...oh well, no problem now!

( walks up to pool table in the middle of the rather large room)
Anyone for a game?

I'm game, I'll rack you break, nine ball or the triangle type that I can never remember the name of?

*Eats the gyro*

This is excellent. I've not had one this good since the OmegaMatic threads.

Ohhhh yeah...

Eight ball! You rack, I crack!
(by the way... First ball you shoot in [stripe or solid] is your set... be the first to hit in all yours THEN (because before means INSTANT DEATH!) the Eight ball, you win.)

Well, in the mean time...
Bob!
[Bob]
Yessir!
[Me]
One Extra Dry Martini, with olive. Shaken, not stirred. (Dum de de dum dum, dum dum, dum de de dum dum... Bwa dant te ta, de dah dah...)

*Checks watch*

Oh, dear. Vacation's ending soon. Ta-ta, everyone, I need to go don my working gear.

*Departs*