h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You take a piece of juicy, sticky konfyt in your fingers and bite it, the chew slowly while you savour the sweetness and flavour and texture...

*looking frantically for a towel to dry her drool*

Yummmmm!

should be eaten with roosterbrood or freshly baked bread (preferably home made)

You goofs! I'm a Boer and my mom and relatives make lots of konfyt. It is in fact just homemade jam, and in my opinion the best kinds are watermelon, pumpkin, and tomato. Some konfyt has a lot of solid texture, while others are thinner, like what the Americans call 'jelly' or store-bought jam. The three kinds I mentioned are all textured konfyts and you can eat them on their own, or on bread, or with other foods, even meat. The more jelly-like types include apricot and marula konfyt and those you spread on bread.

Watermelon konfyt with really big chunks cannot really be spread on bread.

Well Ump, when it comes to you being a boer, I wonder sometimes! Your english is better than most 'englishmen', and a boer that doesn't enjoy beer, braai & boerewors?

But... your description of konfyt is how I saw konfyt. I cannot go on holiday anywhere without buying at least one bottle of konfyt (usually a nice thick peach konfyt, or something like that, as long as its chunky - never seen watermelon though or tomato for that matter...).

Now that the view of konfyt has changed, yes Mad Beef you could use it on fish. Apricot jam/konfyt, garlic and oil make one of the yummiest marinades for snoek!

When I hear the word konfyt I automatically hear watermelon. Anything else is just jam. I think watermelon konfyt is the only thing an english speaking person will call konfyt.

So what language is that I speak exactly?

Well, you started your speaking life with a mixture of English and Afrikaans. What do you get when you cross the English and Afrikaans languages? (Maybe UMP knows the answer to that.) What you speak now, I don't know! I understood you way back then and I understand you now so I guess all I can say is that I have a brilliant understanding of some languages!

!!!